


Hook Me Out

by aya_berry



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Beach House, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Violence, Romance, Sea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26339311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aya_berry/pseuds/aya_berry
Summary: Life’s not always a straight path. There could be twigs and bumps you could run into. And there could be a ditch you could fell into. Unfortunately, he fell into a creek raging him to a deep and lonely sea.Stell is taking a break beside the sea hoping to clear his thoughts and get back to his happy life. He meets Paulo, a friendly resident fisherman. Can Paulo hook him out of the forlorn sea?
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Comments: 25
Kudos: 45





	1. Light

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction.

“Nandito na po tayo, Sir.”

The tricycle driver stopped the engine before alighting his three-wheeled vehicle. He moved to its back and untangled the straps that kept his passenger’s luggage in place.

Stell went out of the tricycle. As soon as both of his feet touched the gravelly road, a blast of cool wind greeted his body. His sweater was not enough to block the cold coming through his skin and it made him shiver.

The sound of the waves from a distant lulled him. It was dark and there were no lights but the full moon is enough for him to visualize the surroundings. He's standing on a rocky pavement that was slightly elevated from the inclined sand going to a row of what it seems like precisely planted coconut trees until reaching the beach. _5 am na pero madilim pa rin._

Something lit up from behind him. It was a gas lantern ignited by the driver. Stell then noticed that the lantern was hanging on the side of a bamboo shed. The shed has horizontal bamboos attached in the middle, probably for sitting or placing things.

“Sir, tanggalin niyo na po yung mask niyo! Sariwa hangin dito ‘di niyo na kailangan niyan.” He felt the presence of the driver placing his big luggage on his side and on top of it was another large travel bag. He heard the driver still talking nonstop about this place but his eyes wandered the sky.

 _Ang daming bituin._ He then looked at the waters. The thin line separating the sky and the sea is glowing. _Seems like the sun is now rising._

Stell was about to respond when he saw some lights sparkle in the sea. It’s not the reflection of the stars. It was from boats. And he was right when the driver speaks again.

“Nariyan na pala sila! Mukhang tatlong bangka lang ang pumalaot ngayon ah. Hindi na ako sumama ngayon dahil mamamasada ako eh, saan naman kaya ang iba?” The driver was now on his side asking the question to himself. They were both looking at the silhouettes of the fishermen from afar, mooring their boats at the nearest coconut trees.

“Ah Sir? Ayos na ‘tong mga bagahe mo!” the driver said getting the man’s attention. The man tried talking to Stell since their ride from the town center but he would just nod at him when asked and didn’t speak.

Stell turned to him removing his mask and panickedly fished for his wallet at the back pocket of his jeans. “Sorry po manong! Ito ho.” He gave a one thousand bill to the driver. The dark made it difficult for the driver to read the paper bill, he examined it and his eyes widened as he was now able to read what number the paper says.

“Naku, Sir! Ang aga pa po, wala pa akong panukli dito. Barya lang po sa umaga.” The driver scratched the back of his head returning the bill to Stell.

“Hindi po, inyo na ‘yan. Kayo lang po kasi tumanggap sa’kin kanina, ang layo po pala nito galing bayan. Pang-thank you ko na po ‘yan.” He lightly pushed back the hand of the driver while shaking his head.

He remembered being passed by one tricycle driver to another since no one wants to drive him to his destination considering it was a long way and not reached by the cemented road. Until this man (maybe in his late forties) who just came back to the terminal after sending off a passenger, offered him a ride declaring he was also about to go here.

"Salamat iho! May pang-gastos na kami ng isang linggo nito." The man smiled widely showing his crooked front teeth and for the first time since his ride from Manila, Stell smiled feeling the happiness and sincerity of the man. _Ang cute ni manong._

Stell placed his travel bag in his shoulder and before reaching his luggage the man was already holding it. "Saan ka ba? Ihahatid na kita para naman hindi masayang 'tong binayad mo sa akin. At saka ang dami mong bitbit! Ikaw ba may-ari nung dalawang palapag na bahay roon?"

The man pointed a nearby wooden two-story house close to the beach. He was confused on how this man knew that it was his place but he still nodded. The house can now be seen as the sun is slowly peeking behind the sea. Stell noticed the fishermen bringing out basins full of fish from the boats. A man in a low ponytail with some strands of his hair falling off the band, was pulling a basin with a rope towards them.

"Opo, paano niyo po nalaman?" He asked the man but still eyeing the fisherman who's pulling the basin with ease as if it doesn't have anything on it. _Puno yung palanggana pero ang dali niyang mahila. Even if I lift weights, I think I might still get a hard time pulling it._

"Iyon na lang kasi ang walang naninirahan dito, binabantayan lang ni Mang Simon. Kilala mo naman siguro siya ano?" Stell nodded. The fisherman seems to feel like he's being watched so he looked up and met Stell's eyes.

Stell quickly looked away and faced the man he's talking to. "Naroon po kaya siya ngayon?"

The man shook his head. "Pumapalaot din 'yon tuwing madaling araw pero halika itanong natin— Paulo!" Stell was surprised when the man shouted a name to someone behind him. He looked for the one the man was calling to and just as he thought, it was the fisherman in a low ponytail. The man named Paulo is now in front of them, he seemed to be just the same age as him. He looked at the luggage the man was holding then scanned Stell from head to toe.

"Manong Andres! Ano po iyon?" He politely asked and smiled without showing his teeth to both the man and Stell. Even though the sun isn't all up yet, Stell still saw a cute dimple on one of Paulo's cheek when he smiled. _I wonder if I also look good with a dimple. Wait. Did I just said he look good?_ He shook the thought off.

“Kasama niyo bang pumalaot si Mang Simon? Narito na pala kasi yung may-ari ng bahay doon sa dulo.”

Stell felt conscious with how the man was staring at him. _What was he thinking?_ He gazed the other fishermen behind Paulo just to avert those stares. “Hindi po, ngayon nga raw po ang dating kaya hinahanda yung bahay.”

“Oh siya, tara na iho, naroon naman na pala si Mang Simon. Teka, ano bang pangalan mo?”

Stell already planned this. He doesn’t want anyone here to know his real name. He just wants to be free without any inhibitions latched in his name. “Tey po.”

“Tara Tey—” Manong Andres was cut by Paulo’s offering to accompany Stell instead.

“Ako na po maghatid kay Tey, Manong. Galing pa ho kayo ng bayan saka wala pang tulog, pahinga na po kayo.” Now that Paulo stated it, Stell noticed the weariness of Manong Andres.

“Naku, okay lang Paulo! At saka may ginagawa ka pa oh!” Stell wants to shrink in his place. He felt like a burden to these busy men. He was about to tell them that he can go there himself when Paulo called someone.

“Ken! Ikaw na muna magdala nito kanila Aling Tessa, ihahatid ko lang bisita ni Manong Simon. Salamat!” The man just nodded, picked the rope of the basin Paulo was pulling earlier and led it to a group of people on another bamboo shed. Stell being oblivious didn’t noticed that people are now gathered checking out the newly caught fishes.

“Okay na po! Ako na po bahala rito.” Paulo smiled to Manong Andres and Stell saw something glint on Paulo’s teeth.

“Sige na, Salamat Paulo ah! Salamat din sa iyo Tey! Una na ‘ko.” They both watched the back of Manong Andres walking down through the sand and going to a cluster of huts. They stood there quietly for some time before Paulo cleared his throat.

“Ahm ako na magdala nitong bagahe mo ah.” Paulo was looking at his hands and wiped it to his clothes. Stell nodded and bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling on how cute Paulo looked when he hesitantly asked.

“Malinis ‘tong kamay ko ah! Hinugasan ko kanina sa dagat.” Paulo defended himself when he saw Tey biting his lip. 

That’s when Stell let out his suppressed chuckle. “Okay lang ‘no! Pero mabigat ‘yan, sure ka ikaw na lang?” He said longer than his usual replies.

Paulo nodded and noted that Stell has a clear and nice voice. 

They walked silently in the sand. And that silence made Stell comfortable. _New environment, new people. I can already feel the calmness this will bring to me._

He looked back to where they came from and the house was far on the other side of the clustered huts where Manong Andres was heading to. He then simply took a glimpse on Paulo. He was playing with his feet in the sand while walking. It was picturesque, he was looking down at his feet, the wind blowing his long hair, the waves are crashing and the large sun was directly behind him.

Paulo looked at him and smiled, eyes crinkling and oh! The glint he saw earlier was from Paulo’s braces. “Taga-Maynila ka?”

“Ah, yes.” He was startled when Paulo suddenly asked him. He doesn’t want to end their conversation but he also doesn’t know what else to say.

“Paniguradong pagod ka na, sa layo ba naman ng Maynila dito.” Once again, silence enveloped them.

Stell was not like this. He was chatty, active and humorous. But now, he was listless. He was busy running to his goal not knowing that there was a creek in his path and he fell. The water was raging fast and he was drowning. Then he found himself floating in the water. Nothing else to see, just a plain and deep water. He was in lethargy. But there was a scant light below and it was moving. He followed it hoping to get out of this solitary water. It may lead him back to his path and finish his goal but it can also lead him to a different path with a new direction.

Either way, that was his only choice. He followed it and here he was, in a remote island with salubrious surroundings and fresh faces. _I need to stop thinking for a while and just enjoy this vacation. Nobody knows me. Perfect time to be myself. Time to loosen up._

“Anu-anong mga huli niyo ngayon?” Stell asked Paulo. He ended with that random question after a long thought on how to revive their conversation. Paulo was surprised. He thought that Stell didn’t like to talk much so he ended shutting himself up.

“Ah, madalas ang huli namin, ano, ah, mga dilis at mackerel.” Paulo didn’t know why he suddenly stammered but he continued. “May tuna rin kami ngayon. Ah! Sila Ken nga pala, yung lalaki kanina, may huli silang mga hipon at alimango.”

Stell can feel the excitement in Paulo while talking about their catch.

“Mukhang walang sawa akong makakakain ng seafoods dito ah.” Stell laughed and Paulo joined him. Paulo’s face seemed like something registered in him.

“Nga pala, Sunday ngayon. Tuwing Linggo, sama-sama kami kumain ng tanghalian doon sa tabing dagat tapat ng sitio.” Paulo pointed the huts on the other side of the beach. “Sama ka ah! Para makilala ka pa namin saka makilala mo rin kami. ‘Wag kang mag-alala, mababait tao rito.” He heartily laughed.

Stell felt warm. Manong Andres and Paulo were very welcoming. He can already feel that he will enjoy his stay. “Okay lang ba? Unang beses ko pa nga lang dito ‘tas makikikain na agad ako. Nakakahiya naman!”

“Huy hindi! Ano ka ba, masaya pa yung mga ‘yon panigurado kasi may bagong kaibigan.”

“Sure ka ah!”

Paulo nodded, still smiling merrily. And for some reason, Stell’s smile cannot be taken off. _Nakakahawa naman ‘tong ngiti ni Paulo._

The walk from the shed up to the house was short but seems too long while talking with Paulo. He saw a man waiting on the veranda of the house. _It must be Manong Simon._

“Manong Simon! Nandito na po hinihintay niyo.” Paulo stated lifting Stell’s luggage while climbing a three-step staircase by the veranda.

“Magandang umago po, Manong Simon. Ako po si Tey.” Stell slightly bowed to Manong Simon. Unlike Manong Andres, this man already looks like in his sixties.

“Aba! Napaka-gandang binata naman pala ng apo ng mga Quitales. Tara ipasok niyo na sa loob mga gamit mo. Malinis dito, lagi kong kasama ang apo kong si Phia para maglinis.”

Manong Simon opened the screen door. Paulo gestured his hand letting Stell enter first before him. The floor was made of wood. There was a long bamboo couch with a mattress that fits it, a wooden coffee table and surprisingly, there was a flat screen TV. Paulo placed his luggage beside the bamboo couch. Stell removed the travel bag from his shoulders and placed it in the small table.

The kitchen was just divided by a white string curtain where Manong Simon cut through. “Nag-almusal ka na ba Tey? Halika may pandesal at kape rito. Ikaw rin Paulo, mag-almusal ka muna.” The old man invited them in the dining table good for four people.

“Dito ka na mag-almusal, Paulo.” Stell offered.

Paulo scratched his nose charmingly. “Hindi na, babalik pa ako kanila Ken. Kita na lang tayo mamaya.” _Ayan na naman yung ngiti niya._

“Sasabay na ako sa’yo pabalik, Paulo. Oh siya, Tey, maiwan na kita. Ikaw na bahala rito.” Manong Simon patted his shoulder and went straight out the kitchen followed by Paulo.

He walked them to the door. “Sunduin kita mamaya, Tey. Sabay na tayo.” Paulo said quickly and before he can respond the man was now out of the veranda. He turned back, waved at Stell and flashed his appealing smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fisherman Paulo and tourist Stell just came into my mind and here it is! Still can't get over Sejun's low ponytail on their Hallyu day performance and obviously the 'palanggana' :3 Don't know if there would be anyone reading this, I just need to get this off my mind haha (stell liked smthn 'bout sitting by the beach, maybe this is the perfect time to get this out my drafts) if you reached this end note, thank you!!! <3
> 
> P.S. this is my first time writing T_T


	2. Grateful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Stell's first day at the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The location is fictional. Many OC ahead.

Stell woke up from his alarm. Its 10:30 am. He didn’t know what time the lunch Paulo was talking about so he set his alarm before going to sleep.

The white curtain in front of the bed was being harshly blown by the wind. _Nalimutan siguro ni Mang Simon isarado yung bintana._

He rose up and went to tie the curtain but instead of seeing a window, it was a slightly opened glass door leading to a balcony. Stell went outside and felt the fresh salty air wafted his face. _Wow._

Stell was awed by the view in front of him. The wide sea was a flawless turquoise. He can’t stop his excitement when he saw little kids from afar playing in the beach. The sun’s rays were directly hitting his face accompanied by the whooshing of wind. He felt cool and warm at the same time.

He sat on a rattan chair that was set in the balcony. He watched the coconut trees sway and the waves go back and forth. There were many children playing, either in the sea or on the sand. It was peaceful. It was relaxing. It was perfect.

“Tey!” Someone shouted from below.

Stell was startled from his deep respite. He stood up and looked for the one who’s calling him. It was Paulo. He was wearing a white muscle tee and a dark blue board shorts. His hair was now tied in a half bun.

“Kanina ka pa ba ‘riyan? Namumula na mukha mo oh!” Paulo pointed out.

Stell touched his right cheek and it was hot. _Wait. I did not just blush, right? It was the sun._ He was sure it was the sun.

He went down and looked at the wall clock. _What? 11:15 na agad?_

He opened the screen door for Paulo who was waiting outside. “Pulang-pula nga! Naku, baka magka-sunburn ka. Dapat maaga ka magpa-araw, hindi yung alas-onse na ng tanghali.” Paulo chuckled.

“Hindi ko namalayan yung oras. Naupo lang ako ‘ron sa taas ‘tas nakaidlip na pala ako. Pasok ka muna, ganitong oras ba tanghalian dito?”

Paulo scratched his temple. “Uh, mamayang alas-dose pa naman. Nakita lang kasi kita nakabilad sa arawan ‘dun sa taas.” He said shyly.

“Buti nakita mo ako, baka tuluyang masunog ‘tong mukha ko kung natagalan pa ako roon. Upo ka muna, maghihilamos lang ako.” Stell left Paulo in the living room and went to the sink.

While washing his face, he remembered leaving Paulo with nothing to do. _Ano ba ‘yan, di ko man lang muna inalok kung gusto ng maiinom o kahit man lang buksan ang TV!_ Stell quickly washed his face and went back to the living room, recalling that his things were not yet unpacked.

He saw Paulo at the window talking to someone outside his house. He took it as an opportunity to fish his travel bag for a face towel and a sunscreen. But then, Paulo looked back and saw how Stell rattled on his things.

“Huy, ‘wag ka mag-madali. Maaga pa naman tayo.” Stell flushed with Paulo’s remark and he slowed down.

Stell placed the bottle of sunscreen on the small table and wipe his face with the towel.

“Nakakahiya, wala man lang akong ambag sa kainan. Ano pa bang pwede dalhin, Paulo?” Stell faced the man who was now sitting on the bamboo couch watching him.

“Ano ka ba, okay nga lang ‘yon! Ako nga wala ring dala eh.” Paulo laughed. Stell smiled but still hesitant to go without bringing something. Paulo saw that look on Stell’s face.

“Ganito na lang. Bili na lang tayo ng softdrinks sa tindahan. Okay na?” That’s when Stell perk up. He nodded and smiled to Paulo excitedly.

Stell looked again at the clock and it was now 11:30. “Tara na?”

“Hindi mo pa nalalagay yung sunblock mo. ‘Di ka pa yata sanay sa init, lagay mo na.” Paulo said pointing at the bottle of sunscreen on the table.

_Oh._ “Oo nga pala. Wait lang talaga ah. Saglit lang ‘to.” Stell was excited to go out that he forgot to put the sunscreen on and was only reminded by Paulo. _Kanina niya pa pinapanood ginagawa ko kaya malamang naalala niya._

Stell went to a full body mirror beside the door and started applying the cream. He saw Paulo on the reflection still looking at him. _God, why does this man always stare?_

He applied the cream on his neck, arms and legs and fixed the crease on his clothes. He changed into a white t-shirt and a yellow board shorts before sleeping and didn’t think of changing again.

He went back to his bag to pick up his wallet and glasses. Paulo stood up and grinned. “Are we now good to go?” _Ohh. He has a nice accent. I like it._

“Yes, we are.” They both went out of the house. Stell locked the main door before closing the screen door.

They walked side by side by the shade of the coconut trees. Paulo was happily talking about the people of Alpas. The sitio has only a population of less than 150 people that’s why they were all acquainted with each other. Stell was intently listening to him, nervous but a bit thrilled to meet new people.

“Oh, wow. It’s really hot. I should’ve also brought my sunglasses.” They were halfway through their walk to the sitio and the sun was brightly striking his eyes whenever they were out of the shadows of the trees. Stell removed his glasses and gently rubbed his eyes.

Paulo held Stell’s arm to stop them from walking. Thankfully they were in the shade of the leaves of a coconut tree. Paulo’s palm on his arm felt warm and, uh, slightly electrifying? Well it was hot, that’s why.

“Why? Do you have problem with your eyes?” The question was delivered in a caring way.

"Uh, I have a mild astigmatism, probably why I needed these." He waved the glasses in his hand before bringing it back on. "Don't worry, it'll be fine in a while. Tanghali kasi, masyadong tirik ang araw." He stated as if it was normal and nothing serious.

Paulo raised his eyebrow and nodded. "Okay. Tara, may lilim naman sa kakainan natin kaya ayos lang."

They went back to walking and moments after they were already on the main sitio. Paulo led him to a small _sari-sari_ store to buy the softdrinks.

"Aling Ising! Pabili nga po ng apat na malaking Pepsi." The lady smiled at Paulo before going to a blue container filled with water and floating bottles. She was reaching for the bottles at the bottom, probably finding the cold ones.

"Oh, hati tayo Tey ah! Para pareho tayong may ambag sa kainan." Paulo said jauntily that made Stell chuckle.

"Magkano ba yan, ha." Stell said with a smile. Paulo fished for a hundred-peso bill and Stell gave him the same.

"Ito po bayad, sakto na 'yan ah! Baka po mamaya pabalikin niyo na naman ako kahit wala akong utang." Paulo joked to the lady which made the latter blush and laugh.

"Itong batang 'to talaga! Gusto ko lang naman makita gwapo mong mukha." Stell can see that the lady was having a cute crush on Paulo. It was nice and sweet. Paulo definitely have a charm that will make everyone fond of him.

Paulo laughed while reaching the bottles and giving the two to Stell. "Hay naku! Lagi niyo na lang po ako binobola."

"She's saying the truth though. You're handsome." Stell blurted. Now realizing what he just said. _Bakit ko nasabi 'yon? It was supposed to be just in my head!!!_

He flushed while Paulo's grin widened. "Talaga? Gwapo ako?" Paulo asked teasingly that made him blush more. _Aba! Nang-asar pa talaga!_

"O diba! Ayaw mo kasi maniwala. Teka sino ba 'tong isa pang gwapo na kasama mo?" Aling Ising asked when he noticed Stell.

"Si Tey po, yung may-ari ng bahay na binabantayan ni Mang Simon." Paulo answered enjoying the bashful look on Stell. Stell widened his eyes on Paulo as if asking to stop with his banter.

"Magandang tanghali po." Stell bowed lightly to the lady.

"Tey Quitales? Kaya pala kay gandang binata!" He didn't bother to correct the lady about his name. That was fine. An unfamiliar name.

"Sige, una na kayo roon susunod na rin ako." They both nodded and went to the cottages.

There were so many people. It feels like a fiesta. There were so many foods, from different dish of seafoods, chicken and oh, there were also green mangoes and sauteed shrimp paste. _Wow! Natatakam na ako!_

"Daming pagkain ano? Sabi ko naman sa'yo kahit wala na tayong dalhin. 'Yan yung mga huli namin kaninang madaling araw. May mga juice pa 'ron." Paulo led him to the long open cottage where most of the food are in. They left the softdrinks on the table and Paulo introduced him to some people that were there.

"Paulo!" A manly voice called. Stell remembered him. It was Paulo's friend who he called Ken. He was holding a TV and behind him were other men lifting what it seems to be a videoke machine.

"Ken! Si Tey nga pala yung sinamahan ko kanina. Tey, si Ken, kaibigan ko." Stell and Ken nodded at each other.

"Tara samahan niyo kami. I-set up namin 'tong videoke." Ken invited them and went to a smaller cottage.

Stell and Paulo were following behind him. "Paulo, sure ka ba na simpleng kainan lang 'to? Parang may fiesta na sa dami ng pagkain. Tapos may videoke pa!"

"Oo nga! Ganito rito linggo-linggo. Saya 'no?" He can't deny it. All of these looks entertaining and he wants to enjoy it. _First day ko pa lang mukhang masaya na. Can't wait for other days to come. And for that day when I get better._

Lunch was great. The food was delicious. Grilled fish and chicken. Shrimps and crabs in _gata_ were also served. But he can't forget how tasty the _bagoong_ was! He even laughed at how Paulo's plate was full of green mangoes and _bagoong_. "Favorite ko 'to, 'wag kang magulo." Paulo joined him in his glee.

He was eating with Paulo, Ken and their friends. They were chatting while eating. He didn't feel left out. They were asking him questions about his trip and his stay, even if he's here for just hours. He was thankful that they didn't interrogate him about himself.

There where groups of people in about five cottages. There were the old men where he even saw Mang Simon and Mang Andres whom he politely nodded to when their eyes met. Group of middle-aged ladies who he didn't want to assume to be gossiping. Young adults, teenagers and children.

"Mic check 1, 2, 3. Mic check 1, 2, 3." Ken was now holding a microphone and inserting some numbers on the videoke machine. Jay was scanning the song book and Paulo was laughing hard on his side because of Ken's song choice.

"Seriously Ken? Touch by Touch? 'Yan na lang kinakanta mo parati wala na bang bago?" Paulo continued laughing but Ken didn't mind him.

Stell elbowed him lightly but can't keep a straight face. Paulo's laugh is contagious. "That's a nice song."

"Nice song daw 'to, Pau sabi ni Tey. Kaya 'wag ka ngang epal diyan. Maghanap ka na lang ng kanta mo!" Ken said and started singing.

"But, yeah, I’m surfeited with it in videokes.” His statement didn't help stopping Paulo from his laughter. “Ken didn't let me finish what I was saying."

He almost spat out the water he's drinking when some of the old men started dancing comically to Ken's song.

People were rolling in laughter and he felt tears coming out his eyes. "Ang sakit na ng tiyan ko! Ayoko na tumawa!" But he still can't stop. He noticed that his right arm was leaning against Paulo's shoulder while laughing. He removed it and Paulo looked at him with a wide grin on his face.

"Ano kaya pa?" He shook his head while caressing his tummy.

"Ang sakit na ng tiyan ko, dami ko pa namang nakain kanina. Banat na banat na!"

"Oh, tapos na! Tuwang-tuwa na naman kayo sa'kin. Ito serious na." Ken started singing The Corrs' Runaway. He has a nice voice. Stell didn't noticed it when Ken was singing the first song since they were all laughing.

"Ang ganda ng boses ni Ken." Paulo nodded at him.

"He has a wide range of voice. Kanta ka rin?" Stell didn't know if he wanted to sing right now but Paulo already handed him the songbook before he can refuse. "Pili ka na, sabay ko sa ilalagay kong kanta. 'Wag kang mag-alala, wala silang pake kung ano man boses mo."

He gave the number of his song choice to Paulo who went to the videoke machine to enter their songs. There were a few people who sang before it was Paulo's turn. The song was Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra.

"Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars."

The first lines that left Paulo's lips made Stell astonished. _Paulo has an amazing voice!_

"Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more..." Stell was stunned. He looks and sings so beautiful at the same time.

When Paulo finished singing, he gave the mic to Stell. "Ang ganda ng boses mo!" Stell said merrily to Paulo and the man just smiled at him. "Ikaw na."

The familiar tune reached Stell's ears. "Wise men says, only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you."

When he finished singing, he was praised by the people. "Alam naman na naming magaling kumanta si Ken pati si Paulo. Pero grabe ang galing mo rin kumanta, Tey!" He smiled shyly at the praises he was receiving.

Paulo on his side was quiet, he appears to be thinking of something. When the man felt him looking, he turned to Stell. "Kung makasabi ka na ang ganda ng boses ko 'kala mo hindi pang professional singer ang boses mo ah!" Paulo joked at him.

Stell suddenly felt nervous. _Did Paulo notice?_ "Kanta pa tayo, dali!" He felt relieved when Paulo asked him to sing again. _I guess he didn't. Thank God._

They continued singing until the sun went down. The men brought trays of liquor in their table. Paulo didn't mention they would be drinking but he shrugged it off. _This is fine. I need to loosen up, but I won't drink too much._

The children were now out of sight, they must be already at home. There were only the men and some ladies joining the liquor session.

After a few shots he felt his face getting warmer. "You didn't tell me we would be drinking." Stell whispered to Paulo.

"I didn't know we would be. Madalang lang kami mag-inom, naisipan siguro ngayon kasi may bagong bisita." Paulo whispered back to Stell.

It was already 6pm and it was dark. The lights were only from gas lanterns hanging around the cottages. He didn't notice the time when they were having fun. Empty bottles were scattered in the sand. Stell didn't drink much but the older men were insistent saying he would have a good rest. He just politely refused. Paulo ang Ken seemed to be used to drinking but he can see that they were already tipsy.

A girl in his teens approached them. "Lo, may tumatawag po Justin pangalan may hinahanap. Tey raw." She asked Mang Simon. He must be his granddaughter. Stell stood up, touched his pockets and didn't felt his phone there. _Lagot! The phone was on my room!_ Mang Simon took the phone and handed it to Stell.

"Hello, Jah?" Stell hesitantly spoke. He moved away from the group and saw Paulo observing him.

"Stell! Oh my God! You don't know how worried I was!" It was Justin's frantic voice.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to message you when I arrived." He said apologetically.

"Hay naku! I didn't want to meddle you there so I waited for you to message me first. But lunch and afternoon came, wala pa rin akong natatanggap. Maiintindihan ko pa kung mga tanghali ka nag-message pero wala talaga ni isa!" Justin and his consistent nagging. Stell just shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, not gonna happen again. By the way where did you get this number?"

"Oh! I asked Josh, hehe. He didn't want to give it to me but I insisted kasi hindi mo sinasagot yung phone mo! Buti na lang din naalala ko na Tey gagamitin mong name ‘dyan. Asan ba kasi phone mo? Don't tell me you forgot?"

"I did. Look, I'm really sorry. Okay? I was invited for lunch here in the sitio. I thought it was just lunch but we ended up drinking--" He was cut by Justin’s question.

"You're drinking?"

"Just a bit."

"Ohh, don't restrict yourself! Have fun! But wait, no. Don't drink too much, you still don't know what other people might do to you. ‘Di mo pa sila kilala."

"I'm good, Justin. Don't worry, I'm being cautious too. Tell Josh I'm fine. You guys don't really need to worry, okay? Bye, and thank you for caring. I'm going to message you soon." He said, dismissal in his voice evident.

"Okay. Just, take care. See you soon." Justin hung up the phone.

He went back to the cottage and they were already finishing up. He gave back the phone to Mang Simon and turned to Paulo.

"Tapos na kayo?"

"Oo. Sabi ko kasi baka pagod ka na, aga mo pa kanina galing biyahe, at saka kami rin pumalaot. Kaya pahinga na tayo."

They bid their good nights and went home. Stell thought Paulo was going to follow other men but instead he walked with him.

"Aren't you supposed to be with them?" Stell pointed at Ken’s group going to the cluster of houses. Paulo shook his head.

"Uh, nope. My house is far behind yours." Paulo said in a matter of fact.

"Ay weh? I didn't notice." Stell and his oblivious self again. That was why Paulo asked him to go at the sitio together, his house was on his way.

"So, the caller earlier, kaibigan mo?" Paulo asked him timidly.

"Oo, I forgot to message him that I've safely arrived. Nalimutan ko rin pala yung phone ko sa kwarto."

The walk back home seemed shorter. They were already in his house.

"Dito ka na. Thank you for today, Tey. See you, uh, tomorrow? May balak ka bang gawin bukas?"

"Ah, yes. Aayusin ko pa yung mga gamit ko."

Paulo nodded and bade him goodbye. He saw Paulo’s house behind and it was the same style like his. _He must be doing well with fishing._ Paulo was now on his back walking to his home when Stell shouted. “Paulo! Thank you for inviting me. I had fun!”

The man smiled at him and waved. _I’m sincerely grateful, Paulo. I felt like myself. Thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you imagine a 'buang' Ken singing and dancing to Touch by Touch? The all time favorite of the Titos of videoke hahaha his craziness from the Ahawit episode of ShowBreak still gets to me. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Thank you for leaving kudos! Berry much appreciated hahaha! (corny i'm sorry) I hope you can also share your thoughts about this work on the comments. Again, thank you! <3


	3. Good Morning!

It’s already been three days since Stell came here in Alpas. He didn’t go out of the house on those days. The sea was alluring but Stell didn’t know why he felt lethargic. His first day was fun and he thought the next days would be. But instead, he just came back to his blue bubble and idle around the house.

Monday. Stell finished unpacking his things by lunch and that’s when he felt hungry. Fortunately, the refrigerator and the kitchen cabinet were full of foods, ingredients and basically all of what he just need. He took note in his head to thank Mang Simon for all of these.

He was on the balcony by the afternoon. He thought of swimming in the sea but he disregarded the idea shortly. _I don’t feel like trying the sea today, maybe tomorrow._

He just sat on the rattan chair watching the waves and the trees as he dozes off. He woke up when he felt the chill. It was already dark and the wind blowing was cold. He went back inside, ate his dinner, watched TV, then sleep again.

The next day, he remembered telling Justin he would message him soon and that’s what he did.

_Stell:_

_Hey! I’m fine. Just finished unpacking yesterday. Might be trying the beach later. How are you and Josh?_

He left his phone on the coffee table and went to the kitchen to prepare his lunch. While arranging the ingredients, he was contemplating if he’ll try the beach and then his phone rang. He went back and the caller ID was from Justin.

 _“Hi Stell! Did you already eat your lunch?”_ Justin asked cheerfully on the other side of the line.

“I was about to cook, you know. Kaso istorbo ka.” He joked.

 _“Wow! Just put our call on loud speak so you can prepare your lunch.”_ He did what Justin said and went back to the kitchen. He rested the phone on the table and washed his hands in the sink.

“So, how are you and Josh? Well I know you’re totally fine kasi wala ako riyan. Walang pabigat.” He laughed. He checked the frozen milkfish if it already melted.

 _“Sino nam_ _ang nagsabi na pabigat ka, ha? Stop now with your self-doubt. Miss na kaya kita!”_

_Self-doubt. Yeah, that’s what I’m here for. To fix this shit of mine._

“Ilang raw pa lang ako rito, Justin, miss mo na ako agad?” It was nice though. Knowing someone who missed him.

 _"Siyempre naman! Si Josh nga pala ayun busy sa ibang artists at sa kalalaro. Oo nga pala! Your producer sent him an e-mail saying he would be sending a demo. I don’t know maybe today or tomorrow. But don't you worry, sinabi naman niya na you're on a vacation kaya it will be on hold."_ He stopped slicing the onion. He sniffed and his eyes were welling up. _A new demo?_

"Can you ask Josh to send it to me when he receives it?" Stell still asked even though he already knew Justin’s view about this.

_"What? No! For God's sake Stell, you're on a vacation. Stop minding these things. Okay? Focus on yourself. Don't feel obligated to write words. Are you crying?"_

"I'm not crying, baliw, naghihiwa lang ako ng sibuyas. OA mo. I'll just listen to it. Pero yeah, I need to stop thinking 'bout work." Stell resigned the idea.

They continued talking until he finished slicing the onions, tomatoes, and minced the garlic. He stuffed those inside the milkfish and seasoned it.

"Alam mo dapat nakakakain na ako eh, kaso ang daldal mo." He said feigning his annoyance.

 _"Aba! Sana kanina mo pa ako pinahinto diba?"_ Justin said sarcastically.

_"Sige na! Iprito mo na 'yang rellenong bangus mo. Hays, pati luto mo miss ko na. Call me from time to time ah! I won't call you first kasi I don't want to disturb you there. Bye, Stell! See you soon. Take care!"_

"You too. Tell Josh hinay-hinay sa kalalaro! Bye!" He ended the call.

He missed talking to Justin but he got things to do. Stell finished his lunch thinking about the new demo.

He knew he already dismissed the idea of work but he can’t help it. This is one of the things he needed to fix. For three years, he absorbed himself writing songs and performing across the country. And he didn’t know he was already neglecting himself, and some old friends. _An old friend._

Stell had been avoiding these thoughts but he needs to face it. He just wants to be happy. And it flooded him. Stell ended up crying in his bed the whole afternoon.

_It’s my fault. Why do I always keep messing up? Why did I keep running and running on this path not paying attention to what’s happening around me? I focused on the goal. I became greedy while running. My eyes are straightly looking at the finish line not minding the rocks in front of me. I stumbled many times, got up, leaving my wounds untended, and continued._

_Then I fell to a creek. It was a raging water drowning me out. I struggled to find my breath. It was painful._ _The fall and my abandoned gashes. Until I felt the current stopped._

_I was just floating, feeling the pain. It was piercing. Excruciating. And at some point, I felt like dying._

_But then, something sparkled. I wonder if that was hope. I followed it. No clues on where this will be heading. But hoping to heal this painful feeling._

Here he was, in a small sitio of an island, wishing to find himself back. The last demo he received made him go where he is now. The intro was the sound of birds chirping, trees swaying, and waves crashing. The melody was lively and has the feel of summer. And Stell found himself relaxing to the instrumental. Maybe that was the main reason why he’s here now.

Healing is a process. A statement we always hear, but profoundly factual. Stell didn’t expect to mend this feelings and thoughts for just a short time. And here he is at the moment, hurting.

Stell remembered his plan of trying the beach today. _Another failed attempt._ His crying stopped by dinner time. He doesn’t have an appetite to eat so he went for the strawberry ice cream he saw on the fridge and slumped his ass on the couch watching the TV.

Paulo came to his mind. Stell hasn’t seen him yet. _I thought he’ll see me yesterday?_ He shook the thought off, maybe Paulo’s just busy and tired from fishing.

Speaking of, why did Paulo ended up being a fisherman? Not that the livelihood is demeaning, it isn’t and would not be. Stell has an experience in fishing and it reduces his stress.

It’s just that, Paulo has a remarkable voice; he can be a professional singer with that. Then add his looks and built! Though it's not the way you measure someone’s capability. It can just add to his appeal.

Stell had been in the performing industry for three years and it has grown more accepting. He had colleagues in different races, religions and even from the indigenous community. The people resigned to the fact of visual over talent.

Anyway, who would’ve traded this place to a crowded noisy city? Money is not a problem here. You have all the resources within the nature.

Except if that was his passion. And this is Stell’s. He trained hard for a performing career which he achieved but, yes, there’s always a but. His comes with a sacrifice. Stell quickly removed the thought before he ends up crying again.

After watching a few shows, he went up to sleep. The upper floor of the house has three rooms and the one he’s using has a balcony viewing the sea. He got in an unattended room on the left side of the floor. Stell peeked in the window to view Paulo’s house. Lights are still on in a room on the second floor. _Is he still awake?_

He saw a him closing the window. Stell quickly stepped back from the window before Paulo sees him. _Oh my God, what am I doing? Peeking in his house?_

Before going back to his room, Paulo shouted his name. He shut his eyes in embarrassment. _Nakita niya ako, nakakahiya!_

“Tey!” _Lilingon ba ako? Or should I pretend I didn’t hear him?_

Stell went back to the window and shouted, “Oh, Paulo! Bakit?” _Can’t help it. I kinda miss talking to him._

“Nakalibot ka na ba rito?” Paulo asked, still in shouting.

“Hindi pa!” It was fortunate that they are the only ones living on this side. They would be disturbing other people with their shouting voices.

“Tara! Igala kita bukas! Goodnight!” Paulo didn’t give him a chance to answer. He just shut his window and turned off the lights. _You won’t accept a no, huh?_

Surprisingly, Stell slept well without a heavy heart from all the crying he did today. He was just excited to wake up for the next day.

Today, here he is, woke up early and standing in his balcony under the warm morning sun. _May this day be blissful._ He started his morning stretching routine.

“Ayan. Ganyan dapat, sa umaga ka magpa-araw hindi sa tanghali.” Stell heard a light chuckle underneath the balcony.

He leaned on the railings and glanced below. Stell saw Paulo’s sunny grin. He instantly smiled back.

“Good morning, Paulo! Wait, bababa na ako.” Stell hurriedly went downstairs to open the door for Paulo.

“Aga natin ah!” Stell beamed at the man. His hair was again tied up in a half bun. _Bagay talaga sa kaniya ganitong hairstyle._

“Nag-almusal ka na ba? Kasi kung hindi pa, aayain kita kumain kanila Aling Lorna!” Paulo invited gladly.

He shook his head. “Hindi pa nga eh.”

“Sakto! Tara na.”

“Hindi pa ako naliligo. Wait lang, balikan mo na lang ako.” _Bakit kasi hindi pa ako naligo pagka-gising!_

“Ha? Ano ka ba! Ang lawak-lawak ng dagat oh, dyan na lang tayo maligo mamaya.” Paulo insisted.

Stell nodded, went outside and closed his door.

“Hindi ka nagdala ng sunglass?” Paulo asked him.

Stell shook his head. “Okay na ‘tong antipara ko.”

Paulo raised an eyebrow as if not contented to what Stell said. “Dinala ko yung akin. Just in case mairita yung mata mo.”

Thoughtful. That’s what Stell perceives Paulo at the moment.

“Ikaw ah. Lagi mo na lang ako inaaya sa mga kainan. You love food that much?” Stell playfully teased the other man.

Paulo laughed. He stretched his shirt on the part his stomach and patted it. Showing a small bump on his tummy.

“That explains why I have this _mamon_.” Stell laughed with him. _So cute!_

Paulo’s not fat. He actually looks a bit lithe and muscular if he wouldn’t stretch his shirt like that. They were silent for a while when Paulo spoke again.

“’Di tayo nagkita nitong dalawang araw. ‘San ka non? Bakit di ka pa nakakalibot?” There was a hint of interest in his tone.

“Sa bahay lang. Stayed there the whole time.” Stell replied scratching the back of his head.

“Eh? Haven’t tried the beach yet? Bakit?” Paulo asked swiftly. “’Wag mo na pala sagutin. I think I’m asking too much.” It was now Paulo’s turn to scratch his temple.

“Actually, I was waiting for you to stroll me out.” He saw Paulo’s eyes widened and it made him laugh. “Joke lang ‘no! ‘Di mo naman ako kailangang samahan. Wala lang siguro ako sa mood nitong dalawang araw. Buti na lang inaya mo ‘ko kagabi.”

“Nagi-guilty ako. Wala ka pa gaanong kakilala rito ‘tas hindi pa kita nasamahan.” Paulo sulked beside him.

“Huh? ‘Wag huy! Don’t feel obligated. You have your own life. Kaya ko naman maglibot, balak ko rin naman i-try yung beach kaso tumawag kaibigan ko kaya ‘di ko na natuloy.” Stell tried to chase Paulo’s guilt away. And it seems to be working.

“Still-“ He cut Paulo’s words.

“Busy days of fishing?” Stell asked.

Paulo looked hesitant to answer. “Oo. Some days it’s just too tiring. Kaya nagpapahinga ako buong araw.”

“Kita mo na! Busy at pagod ka pala eh! Kung ako ‘yon magi-guilty rin ako kasi sinamahan mo pa ako kahit pagod ka na. Gusto mo ba ‘yon?” Paulo shook his head.

“As long as I’m willing to be with you, ‘di mo kailangang ma-guilty.” Paulo stated. And that declaration made a faint blush on Stell’s cheeks.

“See? We both don’t want to make each other feeling guilty, kaya stop na.” Stell smiled at him.

They reached Aling Lorna’s _kainan_ shortly. The place smells good with all the foods served. Stell even saw Ken and some of Paulo’s friend on a table.

“Pili ka na, Tey! Masarap lahat ‘yan, diba Aling Lorna?” The lady laughed and shook his head. Paulo really has his charm to these ladies.

 _Champorado, lugaw, kalamay, at saka mga silog!_ _I suddenly miss Josh, he likes longsilog._

“Ano iyo, Pau?” Stell looked at Paulo and saw him grinning widely. “What’s funny?” He asked innocently.

“Wala lang.” Paulo said still having his grin on.

“Ano nga? Magulo ba buhok ko?” He asked while combing his hair with his fingers. Paulo was intently looking at him while doing that.

“Wala nga. Hotsilog akin, ano iyo, Tey?” Paulo removed his grin but left a small smile in his lips.

“Alam mo, sabihin mo na lang sa’kin, wala lang pala eh.” He said to Paulo irritatingly. But of course, he’s not really irritated. He just wants Paulo to spill what he’s been thinking. And it seems to succeed.

“Wala nga lang! Okay, you called me Pau. That’s it.” It left Stell’s mouth hanging and saw Paulo’s face flushing.

“Akala ko naman kung ano na, ‘yun lang pala! Ano naman kung tinawag kitang Pau?”

“Basta! Saglit pa lang kasi tayo magkakilala and you called me Pau already.” Paulo leaned in to Stell’s ear. “Minsan lang ako may maka-close ng mabilisan. Masungit daw kasi ako.” Paulo’s breath on his ear made him shiver. Paulo stepped back and told Aling Lorna his order. _Oo nga pala!_

“You look friendly though. Siguro type mo ako kaya ‘di mo ‘ko sinusungitan ‘no?” He joked. “Tapsilog po akin.”

“Kapal mo rin ah!” Paulo laughed at him. “Pero, maybe.” Stell was surprised with Paulo’s follow up.

“Joke lang! Tara kanila Ken, ihahatid din sa’tin yung pagkain.” _Just a joke, okay…_

“Uy! Paulo. Tey! Hindi kita nakita nitong nakaraan ah?” Ken said while sipping his coffee. “Ano, tapos ka na sa pagkukulong mo?” He then said to Paulo.

“Oo, Ken. Salamat sa hindi pang-iistorbo.” Paulo laughed.

“Ikaw, Tey, ‘san ka?” Ken turned his attention back to Tey.

“Nagkukulong din.” Paulo answered for him.

“Ha? Magkasama kayong nagkulong?” Ken confusedly asked. Paulo laughed at him again and Stell earned another blush. _Ilang beses na akong namula ngayong umaga, ha?_

“Hindi ah! Nasa bahay lang ako.” Stell answered since Paulo’s still busy laughing. He glared at him and the other man stopped but still has a smile on his face.

“Gulo mo, Ken!” Paulo said.

“Mas magulo ka kaya!” Before Paulo can even retort to Ken, their food was served.

 _Smells good!_ They talked while eating and it was fun seeing Paulo and Ken teasing each other. After finishing the food, they stood up going back to Aling Lorna to pay.

“Una na ako ah!” Ken said after paying his meal.

“Sus, magmukmok ka na naman sa anime mo!” Ken didn’t mind Paulo and headed home.

“Harsh mo kay Ken.” Stell said while laughing slightly.

“Naniniwala ka na ba na masungit ako?” Paulo asked and looked back at Stell to smile. “Ito po bayad namin.”

Stell gave his money to Paulo and the latter shook his head. “Libre ko na ‘to. Ako nag-aya eh.”

“What? Huy! I can pay for my meal!” Stell insisted.

“Ganito na lang. Isipin mo na may utang ka sa’king lunch. Tara, lakad-lakad muna tayo.” Paulo headed out first. He just shook his head. _I can’t believe him._

Stell followed Paulo with a grin. “Okay. I’ll cook our lunch later!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would like to know your reaction and comments. Thank you! :D


	4. Something Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Afternoon in the sea.

_I’m way too comfortable with him._

Stell didn’t expect to be close to someone in a short period of time. He met Paulo last Sunday and it was only three days ago. Actually, they only knew each other for almost two days considering that they didn’t meet for the past days. And here he was, preparing his “owed” lunch to Paulo.

“Anong lulutuin mo?” Paulo asked curiously. His both arms were resting on the dining table and eyeing the ingredients Stell was preparing in front of him.

“Sinigang na hipon.” He saw Paulo’s enthusiasm with the mention of _sinigang_. _Mukhang tama napili kong lutuin ah._

“Oy, Tey! Paano mo nalamang mahilig ako sa sinigang? Ikaw ahh!” Paulo teased, moving his eyebrows up and down.

“Luh! Tigilan mo nga ako, Pau. ‘Di ba pwedeng nagkataon lang?” He playfully rolled his eyes to Paulo. And the man just laughed at him.

“I like it extremely sour.” Paulo said with a wink. _Ang harot naman nito._

“So?” It’s now Stell’s turn to tease and he saw Paulo pout. _G_ _od! Why is he so cute???_

“Joke lang! Stop pouting, ‘di ka cute.” _I lied, yes._ _He is definitely cute!!!_

“Sus! If you just saw your face nung nag-pout ako.” Stell saw Paulo biting his lip, likely suppressing his smile.

“Bakit? What’s with my face?” _Did I blush? I hope not._

“Gwapo.”

Stell’s eyes widened by the man’s bluntness. Paulo laughed hysterically that made him truly blush. And his heart was frantically beating. “Paulo!!! Stop teasing!”

“I am not! ‘Don na nga ako sa sala baka ‘di mo pa gawing maasim yung sinigang eh.” Paulo still can’t stop laughing while moving to the living room.

_Yes! Stay there! ‘Di ako makakakilos ng maayos kung nandito ka nanonood!_

“Panood ako sa TV mo ah!” Paulo shouted.

Stell didn’t bother replying instead he started cooking, face still hot with Paulo’s teases. He wouldn’t complain though. It was really nice and fun being with him.

Before they got to his house, they just strolled on the seashore and ended up staying beneath the shadows of the trees. Paulo led him to a hammock that was tied in between coconut trees. It can be occupied by two persons but Paulo offered it to Stell and just sat on the sand in front of him. They were talking and joking with each other. Stell sitting and swaying the comfortable hammock. Paulo sitting cross legged on the sand and digging for seashells.

They give the impression of long-time friends.

Stell peeked through the string curtain and saw how serious Paulo is while watching a movie on his TV. As much as he liked seeing a happy Paulo, Stell can’t refuse the fact that a stern Paulo is also a sight to see.

“Kain na tayo, Pau.” Interrupting Paulo from watching. The man turned to him relaxing his almost connected eyebrows and smiled. “What are you watching?” He added, looking at the TV and sitting next to Paulo. Ensuring to leave a space between them.

“Just some random movie I found on your DVD cabinet. Venom.” Paulo answered, pointing on the TV stand dresser. Now distracted from the movie and just staring at Stell.

“Oh, I haven’t checked it yet. You like sci-fi movies?” Stell asked while watching a black slimy monster climbing a rocket.

“Uh-huh.” Paulo nodded beside him.

“Tapusin mo muna bago tayo kumain?” Stell didn't know if it’s fine for Paulo to be interrupted in the middle of watching so he considered the man's opinion before eating.

“’Di na. Mas gusto kong matikman na yung luto mo.” Paulo said with a grin.

Stell shook his head. “Masarap ako magluto no. Wala kang malalait!”

“Wala naman akong ibang sinabi ah? Ang sabi ko lang gusto ko na matikman luto mo. At saka wala naman atang kalait-lait sayo.” Paulo chuckled. _Nang-aasar na naman!_

“Ewan ko sayo! Tara na nga.” He headed first to the dining table. Stell can still hear Paulo chuckling behind him and he can’t help but smile.

“Asim! Sarap nito, Tey ah!” Paulo said shutting his eyes and trembled his body from the sourness of the _sinigang_. Stell felt proud. Paulo liked it.

They don’t seem to be loss for words as they continuously talk while eating. They finished lunch after an hour of chattering.

“Should I wash the dishes since you cooked?” Paulo asked while helping Stell clean up the table.

“’Wag na uy! Ako na ‘ron, bisita ka naman eh.” He refused, placing the plates and utensils on the sink.

“Bisita ba? Akala ko bwisita eh.” Paulo laughed beside him, leaning on the kitchen counter. “Tuloy pa ba tayo sa dagat? Baka sawa ka na sa’kin kanina pa tayo magkasama.” The man added.

Stell nodded. “Mga anong oras nga pala? Mukhang ang init pa kasi.” He said while peeking at the kitchen window. “At saka masaya ka naman kasama.” He added in a small voice. Face flushing. Stell turned to see Paulo who suddenly fell silent. He was smiling amusedly.

“Nice to know. I’ll be back at four, hindi na gaanong mainit ‘non. Alis muna ako, baka kasi gusto mo munang mag-siesta. Istorbo lang ako.” Paulo said moving out of the kitchen. _Where is he going?_

Stell followed him. “I told you, masaya ka ngang kasama.” _Kulit naman nito!_

“Onti na lang, Tey iisipin ko na ayaw mo akong paalisin dito.” Paulo chuckled. _Do I sound like that?_

“Joke lang uy! Uwi muna ako ah. Ayaw ko naman na magsawa ka agad sa pagmumukha ko. See you later!” Paulo waved at him and walked to his house.

Stell was a bit disappointed that Paulo went home but he didn’t want to sound like a clingy friend. Besides, _ayoko rin naman na magsawa siya agad sa pagmumukha ko._

He didn’t sleep. He was just lying on his bamboo couch thinking about Paulo. Yes, the man can’t get out of Stell’s mind. It took a long time before he got close with Josh. Justin and him even fought before they became good friends. And here’s Paulo, barging his door welcoming himself to Stell’s life. It was overwhelming. _I haven’t had new friends for a long time since I was isolating myself._

This is fine. Opening himself to new people. A step to happiness. _I hope it is._

Paulo’s like a breath of fresh air. Simple and joyful. He reminds him of himself. Stell was just like that. Maybe that’s why he can’t stop thinking of him. There’s always warmth brought by Paulo’s sunny smile. His teases always make the atmosphere between them light.

Stell looked at the clock and it was just three in the afternoon. _Tagal! Isang oras pa._

He looked for his compact camera, got out of the house and went to the hammock Paulo led him to earlier which isn’t far from his house. He sat and swayed it slowly. It wasn’t that hot like earlier in noon because of the wind and the shadows of the trees.

Stell took pictures of the sea in front of him. While checking them, he saw the shells Paulo dug earlier below. It was placed neatly in the sand in a form of what it seems to be like a pattern or a symbol. He doesn’t understand it but he still took pictures of it.

He glanced at his house behind him and also took a shot of it. An idea crossed his mind. Stell hopped out of the hammock and angled his camera where both his and Paulo’s house can be seen. _Click! And there, nice shot!_

“Anong ginagawa mo?” Stell jumped, startled by the voice behind him. He turned off his camera and looked at Ken.

“Just taking some pictures. Ikaw?” He quickly said. _Hindi naman siguro nahalata ni Ken na kinukuhaan ko ng pics yung bahay namin ni Pau 'no?_

"Inaya ako nung masungit mag-dagat. 'Di mo pa raw na-try kaya samahan ka na namin para masaya!" Ken said excitedly.

_Grabe, how thoughtful of them. Nakakatuwa!_

"'Di niyo naman ako kailangang samahan pero thank you ah!" Stell said appreciatively. They all barely knew each other but they were willing to accompany him and let him enjoy.

“Ayaw naman naming malungkot ka dito ‘no! Asan nga pala si Paulo, bakit mag-isa ka rito?” Ken asked and lazily lied down the hammock while yawning. Stell laughed at Ken’s actions. _Sigurado ba ‘tong gusto akong samahan kaysa matulog?_ He went to the coconut tree where the other end of the hammock is tied and leaned on to it.

“Ahh, umuwi siya kanina after lunch. Baka natulog.” He again remembered that Paulo excused himself earlier.

“Hindi naman ata natutulog ng hapon ‘yun!” Ken stated. _What? So why did he leave?_

_Well I guess, I’m just boring to be with._

Ken possibly saw Stell’s confused expression. “Hayaan mo na ‘yun, baka may ginagawa lang. Lagi naming may ginagawa mag-isa ‘yon, masanay ka na.”

The man abruptly stood up his body finding a good sitting position in the hammock. “Akin na ‘yang camera mo, kuhaan kita ng picture. Ganda ng anggulo mo diyan oh!” Ken said while forming his fingers into a square and placing it to his right eye imitating a camera.

“Sakto! Wala pa akong pictures dito.” Stell handed the camera to Ken and goes back to his leaning position on the tree.

After capturing his pictures, Ken gave him back the camera and again lied down the hammock.

He was about to ask the man if he also wants to pose for a shot when he heard a sound of a motor at the sea. Stell walked closer and saw a jet ski moving to their place. He took pictures of it and realize it was Paulo who’s riding the watercraft.

Stell lowered down his camera and watched how graceful Paulo maneuvered the jet ski.

“Kaya naman pala umalis sa inyo kanina.” Ken said. He didn’t even feel that Ken was already beside him.

Paulo stopped the jet ski on the shallow part of the water and jumped out of it. Stell finds it dashing. Paulo under the sun wearing a taupe bucket hat, green pullover and a board shorts same with the color of his hat. Then accompanied by the waters splashing on his feet. He was glowing.

Another sight of a scenic Paulo. It would be nice if he captured that moment but it would also be humiliating if Paulo saw him taking pictures. Just the thought of it already made him flush.

“Ken! ‘Yung kayak?” Paulo asked when he reached them. He smiled at Stell and glanced at his hand that’s holding the camera.

“Nandoon oh!” Ken pointed the transparent kayak not far from their position which Stell didn’t notice earlier. _Wow! They really prepared for this?_

“Hoy grabe naman yan! May pa-jet ski at kayak pa kayo!” Stell said excitedly.

“Ahh, hiniram ko lang para mas masaya ngayon.” Paulo said shyly and lightly scratched his cheek. Ken laughed beside him. _Bakit tumatawa ‘to?_

Ken moved to the jet ski while whispering something that he didn’t hear.

“Anong sabi ni Ken?” He asked Paulo who’s shaking his head, probably heard what Ken said. The man just shrugged his shoulders.

“Ako muna sa jet ski ah!” Ken shouted while boarding the watercraft.

“Nandiyan ka na eh! Ano pang magagawa namin!” Paulo shouted back while laughing. “Tara Tey sa kayak.”

“Wait. I’ll just put this down on the hammock. Hindi ‘to waterproof eh.” Referring to the camera. He went back and Paulo followed behind him.

“Lagay mo muna dito sa bucket hat, baka biglang mahulog ‘yan.” Paulo reached for the camera he’s holding and their hands slightly touched. Stell quivered. _What was that? This is already the second time I felt it. Did he feel it to?_

Paulo placed the camera on his bucket hat and left it on the hammock. “Much better. Tara.” He smiled and led Stell to the clear kayak. _He looks normal, like nothing happened. Ako nga lang yata nakaramdam ‘non._

“You left earlier so you could borrow those? Akala ko matutulog ka eh.” Stell gauchely laughed. _“I even thought I was too boring to be with.”_ He added whispering the words, almost inaudible.

The man brushed up his hair with his fingers. “Oo, para na rin sumama si Ken. Feel ko talaga nagsasawa ka na sa’kin, kanina pa tayo magkasama.” Paulo smiled coyly.

Stell bit his lip to prevent it from an eventual pout. They both have same sentiments. It only means that they like the presence of one another. He can’t help it and ended up grinning.

Both their heads turned to the sea when they heard Ken’s exclamations of excitement. He was moving fast in the water with full enjoyment.

“That looks exciting!” Stell exclaimed. It looks fun and refreshing.

“Do you like jet skiing better?” Paulo asked, pulling the kayak in the water.

“Haven’t tried it yet. Hindi ako marunong.” Stell laughed while reaching the paddle Paulo is passing to him.

“Turuan kita mamaya, gusto mo?” Paulo offered which made Stell more excited.

Paulo laughed seeing the enthusiastic Stell. “This kayak is good for two. Saan mo mas gusto, sa likod o harap?”

“I’d rather be at the back. Ikaw na mag-lead.” Stell answered. Paulo’s always considerate of what he would like better.

“Okay. I’ll lead you to the coral reef not far ahead.” Stell’s eyes widened.

“May corals?” He was so excited that he went in the kayak first. The boat swayed when he got in and he almost lost his balance. Thankfully, Paulo’s agile enough to hold his hand and steady the swaying boat.

_Oh my God, this is embarrassing._ “Chill ka lang Tey.” Paulo laughed and supported Stell’s hand while he’s sitting down.

Paulo was about to board the kayak when he seemed to remember something “Oh, wait. Gusto mo gumamit ng life vest?” He asked carefully. Probably not wanting to sound offending and make Stell embarrassed if he didn’t know how to swim.

Stell smiled. _He’s really thoughtful._ “No need. I swim and dive.”

Paulo relaxed and smiled back. “Let’s go!”

It was calming. Both of their paddles row the sea at the same time. The water is clear and he can see rocks and shells below the transparent kayak. They were slowly reaching the deeper part of the sea when a splash of water came to them. They both stop paddling and wiped their wet faces.

“Ken!” Paulo complained and the man just laughed.

Ken was encircling them with the jet ski and splashes of water won’t stop going their direction. Stell was a bit annoyed but it was replaced by thrill and enjoyment when he heard Ken’s ridiculous laugh. _Parang baliw tumawa si Ken!_

He still can’t properly open his eyes but he shouted while laughing, “Ken! Stop it baka malunod na kami rito!”

The man stopped but still hysterically laughing. “Hahaha! ‘Yung mga mukha niyo… nakakatawa… basang… basa!” His words are chopped because of his laughter.

“Muntikan mo nang mapuno ng tubig ‘tong kayak oh! Ilubog kita ‘dyan eh!” Paulo said irritatingly.

Stell laughed harder hearing Paulo’s statement. _Ohh, this is his masungit side._

“Sungit! Hindi naman sobrang dami nung tubig.” Stell said while grinning and scooping out the water inside the kayak to the sea.

“Tuwang-tuwa ka naman ‘dyan sa likod ko.” Paulo looked back at him, frowning but his eyes say otherwise. He’s drenched and his eyes were red. Droplets of water falling off his hair. Paulo took in almost all the splashes since he was hiding behind his back.

“Sorry na.” Stell heard the man’s “tsk” but saw him smile before looking in front. _Nagsusungit pa, natutuwa rin naman._

Ken moved away and went to the children watching him on the sand. Paulo started paddling while he’s still scooping some water.

"Ang kulit ni Ken." Stell stated and he saw the back of Paulo's head moving up and down.

"Oo. Timid 'yan sa ibang tao na hindi niya pa gaanong kilala. He must be really comfortable with you."

It shocked Stell. Ken was lively and crazy since he met him (except for the time he saw him pulling basins). And on the other hand, he was quiet and shy and he did not expect that Ken felt comfortable with him.

"Wala naman akong masyadong sinasabi o ginagawa pero komportable na agad siya sa'kin?" He asked confused and helped Paulo in paddling.

The man just shrugged his shoulders. "Ikaw, are you comfortable with me?"

"Tinatanong pa ba 'yan, Tey? Dami na nating nagawa ngayong araw ah, mukha ba akong awkward dito?" Paulo questioned quickly.

Then added, "Ikaw nga dapat tinatanong ko eh." Paulo stopped his rowing and looked back to Stell. "Are you comfortable with me?"

Stell nodded quickly. "Oo naman!"

"Good. Hindi ka naman ba naiinis sa minsanang pang-aasar ko?" Paulo shifted his head back and he heard him chuckling.

"Hindi. I think isa 'yan sa dahilan bakit gusto kitang kasama." Paulo didn't say something. _Oh shoot!_

"I mean, kung bakit komportable ako sa'yo, ganon. Basta ganon!" He said panickedly and felt his face warming up.

Paulo chuckled and whispered something like, _"Gusto rin naman kita kasama."_

_Did I hear it right?_ His voice was low but it sounded like that.

_What should I reply to that?_

"We're here." Paulo said, stopping him from paddling further and thinking of words to reply.

Stell looked down and saw different type of corals and fishes. It was colorful.

"Grabe." That's the only word that left his lips. It was his first time seeing a coral reef out in the sea, not from manmade aquariums.

Paulo tied his hair into a full bun, stood up and dive down the sea. He saw him swim under the kayak cutting through the school of fishes and getting out of the water on his right side.

The man wiped his face up with both of his hands and grinned at Stell. "Tara na rito!"

Paulo leaned in to the kayak that made it tilt and tugged Stell's shirt. But before he can even respond, Paulo dived down again.

The water's not that deep. Coral reefs are usually in the shallow and clear water where the sunlight can easily reach them. And there he can saw Paulo gracefully diving to the corals.

He was struggling to decide whether he would like to dive in right now and join Paulo or watch him for a minute swimming around.

For the second time, Paulo got up on his side and showed him something red.

"Look, Tey." Paulo was holding a starfish on his right hand that's still in the water. "Nakahawak ka na nito?"

Stell shook his head. "Try to poke it. I can't get it out of the water since some of them can't hold their breath for more than 30 seconds."

Paulo is now holding it with both of his hands. Stell leaned in closer to Paulo and poked the starfish twice.

"It's hard! All this time I thought they were soft." He laughed and so did Paulo.

"I'll bring this back now so it won't stress too much. Langoy ka na rin, this is just three meter deep."

Stell thought of removing his shirt. Paulo didn't bother to remove his pullover though it might be heavy with water, so he also dived in with his shirt on. The water is truly pristine, he can see the colorful fishes and corals clearly underneath.

Paulo was now beside him grabbing his wrist and pulling him into somewhere.

_This is beautiful!_ Stell can see layers of corals in different colors and shapes. Pink, blue, green, orange, purple and more. There were thorny corals, broccoli shaped, and flower styles. After feeding his eyes with the view, he looked at Paulo whose eyes are already on him.

Paulo motioned his head up and he nodded. The man was still holding his wrist and pulling him out of the water to breathe.

They were both smiling and panting as soon as they got up. "How was it?" Paulo asked.

"That was beautiful!" Stell said grinning widely.

"Next time snorkeling gears na dadalhin ko para we can dive deeper. May mas maganda pa dito roon sa malalim." Paulo said pointing farther ahead.

Both of them dove more and enjoyed the corals and fishes until both of them felt tired. Stell let his body float in the water near the kayak and Paulo beside him.

"Salamat, Pau. For showing me this." Stell said after minutes of comfortable silence between them.

"Well... thank you for letting me show you these. Buti nagustuhan mo, iniisip ko pa kanina baka this is too boring for you." Paulo laughed.

Stell turned his body to stop it from floating and faced Paulo. "Alam mo, we barely knew each other pero you gave effort to all of these."

"Hindi ko rin alam eh. If-" Paulo was cut by Ken's shout from the other side where there's no reef.

"Hoy kayong dalawa! Kayo naman na rito, pagod na ako!" After that he went to the shore.

"We still got time left para mag-jet ski. Delikado na 'pag gabi. Sampa ka na Tey." Paulo held the kayak steady for Stell to easily jump in. He went in after seeing Stell comfortably seated.

They paddled back to the shore. "Ano nga pala ulit 'yung sinasabi mo, Pau? If ano?" Stell asked continuing Paulo on what he was saying earlier.

"If ano, ahh, kung ibang tao siguro," Paulo stammered but still continued, "nag-stay na lang ako sa bahay." He laughed.

"Hindi ko talaga alam, parang may something sa'yo na gusto kong maging kaibigan."

"Ano kaya 'yung something na 'yon?" Stell asked jokingly and both of them laughed. "Pero thank you talaga, for being a nice and spirited friend. If not for you baka nakakulong pa rin ako sa bahay hanggang ngayon."

“Are you ready?”

Paulo is now holding the handlebar of the jet ski and behind him is Stell who’s gripping the side of the man’s pullover. “This is my first time, don’t let me fall!” He laughed.

“Iyakap mo kasi sa baywang ko ‘yung kamay mo para ‘di ka mahulog!” Stell awkwardly followed Paulo’s prompting. His arms are loosely encircled in Paulo’s waist. Paulo didn’t seem to be contented so he just grabbed Stell’s arms and clutched it tightly to his waist.

“Ayan! ‘Wag ka mag-alala, ‘di kita hahayaang mahulog at masaktan.” _What?_ Paulo sounded to be implying something.

Stell didn’t know what to say and Paulo laughed hard with his silence. _Pinaglololoko na naman ako nito!_

“Saan mo na naman ba nahugot ‘yan?” Paulo’s back moves up and down on his chest, still laughing and infecting him so he ended up giggling with him.

“Totoo naman ‘yung sinabi ko kaso parang double meaning. Basta kapit ka lang ‘dyan. I won’t let you fall.” He started the watercraft slow.

“Ano ba ‘yan ang bagal!” Stell complained teasingly and that’s when Paulo sped up the water ski.

The moist wind blowing in his face made him feel refreshed. The red orange afternoon sky made him feel dynamic. The man in front of him made him feel secure. _This is making me feel alive._

After a few turns and Paulo’s teasing of driving the ski fast and slow, they stopped in the middle of the sea. Far from the shore but not near the corals to prevent it from damaging. Both of them were silent watching the sky go dark. The sunset isn’t visible on this side of the island but its colors are still showing. And it was beautiful.

“Enjoy?”

Stell nodded. He removed his hands on Paulo’s waist and placed it on the man’s shoulders. Holding it for support as he stood up, feet on the pillion. Paulo looked up to Stell confused. “What are you doing? Baka mahulog ka na talaga!”

_I’m scared of falling, but this feels right._

“’Wag kang malikot.” Stell removed his hands on Paulo’s shoulders, lifting his arms to his side balancing himself.

He faced the horizon. The wonderful vast sea and open sky in front of him. He placed his hands on the side of his mouth and shouted, “Thank you for letting me meet Paulo! I will truly treasure this day!”

Stell looked down to see Paulo’s expression. He was grinning widely and that’s when he felt the embarrassment from shouting. He didn’t know why he did the act, he was just happy.

Paulo also stood up beside him. Doing the same thing he did, he shouted, “Thank you for letting Tey enjoy this day with me!”

They stared at each other and just laughed off their crazy antics until the watercraft wobble and both of them fell to the water. Both their heads pop off the sea and they instantly smiled as if it was permanently stuck in their faces.

“Balik na tayo, Tey. Hindi na kita matuturuan ngayon, madilim na eh.” Paulo jumped to the ski and held Stell’s hand helping him up.

“Marami pa namang susunod na araw.” Stell said while jumping up. He felt cold so he instantly encircled his arms on Paulo’s waist. _Nice and warm._

As they go back, they saw a tiny fire in front of the hammock. It was a small bonfire made by Ken. They were walking in the sand and Ken went to them handing some towels. Stell’s eyes moved to the fire behind Ken and saw a rice pot, some paper plates and a paper bag on top.

“Magdala raw ako ng hapunan sabi ni Paulo kaya bumili ako ng inihaw na manok. Kainan na!” Ken said merrily.

Stell turned to Paulo who just smiled at him and headed to the fire.

_Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. And I think this is something else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took long to update T_T but here it is! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing this! <3


	5. Kaulayaw

It was a lazy day for Stell. He doesn’t want to stroll out alone but he also doesn’t want to disturb Paulo from resting since today was their schedule for fishing. _Malamang puyat ‘yon._

Stell already finished watching two movies and it was still ten in the morning. Living in the rural made him wake up too early in the morning. Even earlier than the sunrise. And he enjoyed watching it. The bright sun erasing the darkness of the sky. Bringing light to the day. A reminder that every day is a new beginning, and there will always be hope after a dark night.

But he can’t refuse the fact that he wakes up early to secretly watch the fishermen moor their boats. Specifically, Paulo. He had been doing this for the past three weeks. It seemed to be a weird act, but he really enjoys watching him.

The promised jet ski lesson happened the following day and it made them much closer to each other. Stell disregarded the thought of that ‘something else’ he felt. He knew it was different. His heart keeps beating fast the whole time they were together and he only thought of it to be the excitement for what they were doing. But when they came back to the coast, the rapid beating still won’t stop.

_I don’t want to feel anything else until I sort out all of my troubled thoughts and feelings. That would be more difficult._

He stood up and looked for his compact camera. Stell always brought his cam whenever Paulo would ask him to wander around. It was in his room and the balcony looks inviting as the curtains sway freely by the wind, so he decided to position himself on the rattan chair outside and dig for the pictures he took.

He started from the first ones, the day when they did kayaking and jet skiing. There were photos of the sea then shots of him that Ken took. The next one was of seashells formed in a pattern and he examined it thoroughly. _The patterns look familiar._

That’s when he realized it was _baybayin_. Stell doesn’t know how to read the old writing system so he searched it up online. It took a while since the signal’s not that good. And it says ‘Tey’. A pout formed in his lips and it eventually became a smile.

He turned to the next photos and saw the dried fishes he hung. Paulo brought him to some activities of the sitio and one of it was when they helped the people make _daing_ of some fishes they caught. It was fun. They were singing and talking while doing the work. Until Paulo started a salt war with him. They were both throwing each other the salts used for the _daing_ 'til some elderlies hissed at them. As if they were little kids, they started blaming each other and then just laughed it off.

_I can’t believe my camera’s full of Paulo!_

The gallery shows him photos of Paulo in different angles and reactions. There were snaps of him laughing, eyebrows almost connected in seriousness, then posing in the camera as if eating the fish and a photo of him mouth open and doing the ‘rock on’ hand gesture. _He likes to do that pose._

Stell continued browsing and his smile seems to be stuck on his face as he recalls those days. He then saw a picture of Paulo’s back walking in the middle of tall trees. It was their recent activity. That was when they went to the foot of the mountain near the sitio.

\---

“When you told me na mag-harvest tayo ng bamboo ngayon, I thought of some bamboo field. Hindi ko alam na mamumundok tayo! Naka-tsinelas lang ako oh!” Stell quietly complained to Paulo so that the others won’t hear him.

They were walking and stepping on dried leaves and twigs that made Stell nervous to prick his feet with.

“Hindi tayo mamumundok, dito lang sa paanan, saglit na lang ‘tas may human trail na. And at least I let you wear comfy long pants.” Paulo laughed.

From Stell’s side, Paulo moved to his front and wiped the twigs with his feet to clear the path. The man looked back to him and mouthed, “Ano, okay na?” with matching thumbs up. Stell chuckled while shaking his head and imitating Paulo’s thumbs up.

They were all helping to lift and bring back the bamboos they gathered and as soon as they came back to the sitio, they riled them down and dried it under the sun. Paulo and the other men were splitting the previously dried bamboos.

“Give me some knife, I’ll help. Turuan mo ako.” Stell reached for an available knife.

Paulo was hesitant, but Stell wanted to learn how to do it. He carefully taught him the way to handle the knife and cutting the bamboo.

"You look more nervous than me." Stell chuckled. Paulo's eyes look so worried as he watches Stell splitting the bamboo.

"Your hands are shaking baka mahiwa ka. Akin na yan." Paulo reached for the ones Stell was holding but he moved it away.

Stell's hands were shaking but he was persistent. Paulo ended up not doing his thing, just watching Stell worriedly.

Until Paulo's qualms happened. "Aray!"

Stell let go of the knife and touched the side of his bleeding thumb where the cut is. Paulo quickly held his hand and applied first aid. Stell didn’t even notice that there was already a kit beside Paulo.

"Sabi ko naman kasi sa'yo eh! Buti hindi malalim." Paulo was gently caressing Stell's bandaged finger. It made him shiver and felt his face become warmer. _Here comes my fast beating heart. Slow down, please!_

Stell was left there on Paulo's side with nothing to do since the man wouldn’t let him hold the knife again. His chin was resting on his hand, watching an ardent Paulo, gracefully holding a knife. The man looked at him and chuckled. _Ano na naman bang tinatawa-tawa nito?_

He mouthed a "What" to Paulo and the man set aside the bamboo and knife he was using. He stood up and reached for Stell's injured hand.

"Doon tayo sa kabila. Kawawa ka naman dyan wala kang ginagawa." Paulo laughed.

"Anong gagawin natin ‘don? Ayos lang naman ako dito ah. Nag-eenjoy naman ako."

"Nag-eenjoy kang panuorin ako? Nadidistract lang ako! Mamaya ako naman magkasugat dito." Paulo continued laughing. Stell pouted. _Yeah, right. I was really enjoying myself watching you._

They went to another cottage where some people were weaving the bamboo strips. Stell's eyes widened. This is much more to his liking!

Paulo seemed to notice Stell's excitement. "Oh diba, mas mag-eenjoy ka rito."

Stell nodded and went to the weavers. "Pwede pong tumulong?"

An old lady went to him and taught him the basics of bamboo weaving. As he settled down, Paulo told him he was going back to the bamboo stripping.

"Huh? Akala ko dito ka na rin?" Stell asked confused and he saw Paulo smirk.

"Nevermind, sige doon ka na." His face flushed when Paulo laughed. _For sure aasarin ako 'non kaya inunahan ko na!_

"Don't worry, Tey. Babalikan kita rito." Stell just rolled his eyes which didn't stop Paulo from laughing.

He can't deny it. Stell enjoyed himself weaving and chatting with the elders of the sitio. Though watching Paulo has become his hobby (either in secret or boldly which he was thankful that the man doesn’t mind, it just made more teases to him) it was still nice that Paulo led him here to try new things.

\---

Stell looked up to the hanging bamboo basket lamp he made which he designed in the balcony. Hours was spent to weave that particular item and he was so proud of himself when he finished it. He even proudly presented it to Paulo and the man gladly took photos of him with it.

After he browsed all the photos he took, he was left there again with nothing to do. He went back inside his room and stopped as he passed by a full body mirror.

Examining himself, he noticed that his semi-permed hair gotten much longer, his naturally straight hair had grown and it was almost covering his eyes behind the round glasses. Not much for a full disguise.

He’s a singer, a rising one, but he took a sudden break. Stell don’t know if his songs already reached this part of the country. He was previously featured in some local news when he was starting, but that was more than a year ago. Maybe they saw him in music channels, but that’s mostly for cable TVs and the cell tower here is distantly far so it’s not that good aside from some local channels. That was why he just watch from the available DVDs in here. Some of his calls for Justin and Josh were unstable because of the poor signal.

One thing they can know him is via radios. The people can hear his voice but wouldn’t know his face. Except if they search him online, which is also not a thing here.

_But I think some residents already recognized me and just didn’t say anything. That’s a good thing. I wouldn’t want to say anything if they ask me why I took a pause in my career._

Some time when he was walking at the beach by himself, a group of girls were singing one of his songs as he passes by. Stell don’t know if they were singing it in coincidence or they were singing it because they know him. That happened twice with the same people.

As long as he doesn’t get too much attention, that is fine.

_I wonder what Paulo would think if he knew who I really was?_

That thought keeps running on his mind as he prepares for his lunch. Paulo would understand for sure. It’s not like he was an infamous or a scandalous singer. He might be surprised if he learned it and Stell hopes that it wouldn’t change Paulo’s view of him.

Paulo had been Stell’s escape. Whenever he’s with him, it feels like everything was alright. They would talk about themselves, their hobbies, their likes, some experiences, but their personal lives were always out of the conversation. _Naghihintayan lang ba kami ni Paulo na mag-kuwento? Pero ang tanong, am I ready to share how messed up my life is to someone else?_

The thing with Paulo is he’s always curious, he always asks, but he wouldn’t force you to answer or narrate your story. He is very respectful. _I guess there’s still a hidden luck in me to be his friend._

As soon as he finished washing the dishes, Stell heard a knock on his door. He swipes aside some of the string curtain and there he saw Paulo smiling at him and waving his hand on the window beside the door.

Stell instantly smiled at the sight of him. _Anong ginagawa nito rito?_

He opened the door for Paulo, “Hindi ba dapat nagpapahinga ka ngayon?” Stell beamed at him.

“Magandang tanghali rin sa’yo, Tey!” Paulo laughed.

He entered Stell’s house as if it was his own and crashed himself on the couch, slouching and placing his feet on the small table. Stell raised an eyebrow and went to Paulo to tap his legs. The man didn’t bulge so he just sat beside him and did the same.

“Anong kailangan natin?” Stell said looking at Paulo whose eyes were now closed.

“Pupunta akong bayan, dadalhin ko ‘yung mga natirang huli namin kanina.” Paulo opened his eyes. He adjusted his position and lay the back of his head to the backrest of the couch. He then turned to Stell, “Samahan mo ako.”

“Eh? Tanghali na may bibili pa ba ‘non doon?”

“’Di ko naman ibebenta. Dali na samahan mo na lang ako!” Paulo stood up and tapped Stell’s legs, just as how he did it earlier to him.

“Oh sige. Saglit lang kukunin ko lang yung camera, magpapalit na rin pala ako.”

“Okay! Puntahan mo na lang ako doon sa mga shed, aayusin ko na ‘yung mga dadalhin.” He went straight to the door then suddenly looked back to Stell. ”‘Wag mo palang kalimutang mag-sunscreen ah, mainit pa!”

“Yes, boss!” Stell mockingly answered and they both laughed.

Afternoons in the sitio were always quiet. Since it was hot, they probably stay inside their houses and nap. Mornings and late afternoons were the time when people are alive and aloud. That’s why Stell hadn’t seen anyone as he walks his way to the bamboo sheds. He saw an old pick-up parked in front of a shed. _Madalang lang sasakyan dito ah?_

Paulo is lifting a foam box and heading to the vehicle and placed it down on the cargo. As he lifted his head, their eyes met.

“Iyo ‘to?” Stell asked, pertaining to the pick-up. It looked rusty and old but still functional.

“Ah, oo. ‘Di ko rin madalas magamit kasi mahirap nga ‘yung daanan dito. Pang-emergency lang, para may magamit dito sa sitio.” Stell nodded. He thought they would be riding a tricycle since it was the main transport vehicle to the town.

“Tara na, tapos ko naman nang ilagay yung mga dadalhin sa likod.”

Stell went to the passenger seat and Paulo was following behind him. “Ako na magsara ng pinto, medyo mahirap kasi gamitin. Nawala sa isip kong papalitan.” Paulo scratched the back of his head. As he took his seat, Paulo had a hard time locking the door. “Sorry talaga.”

“Ano ka ba, okay lang. Basta ba maayos makina nito! ‘Wag mo ako idamay sa kapahamakan Paulo ah!” Stell said jokingly to lessen Paulo’s tension. _I really don’t mind riding an old vehicle._

Paulo loosened up and laughed. “Syempre ‘di ko hahayaang mapahamak tayo, maayos ‘to no!”

He went to the driver’s seat and started the car. “Wala rin pala ‘tong aircon, okay lang ba?”

“Oo naman. Mas gusto ko pa nga ‘pag bukas ang bintana kasi mahangin.” Stell said chirpily.

“Baka sinasabi mo lang ‘yan ngayon ah!”

“Hoy hindi! Sa Manila kasi mausok kaya hindi madalas buksan ang bintana, pero gusto ko talaga na bukas para maramdaman ‘yung hangin.” Stell explained. He saw Paulo nodded beside him and smiled sadly.

The ride was bouncy since the road is not constructed and the sides were full of trees.

“Kilala mo si Aling Marie diba?” Stell thought for a moment, remembering who Paulo was talking about.

“Yung isa sa mga naghahabi?” He asked and Paulo nodded.

“Inatake ng hika ang bunso niyang anak dati. Nasakto naman na pumunta yung nag-iisang doktor sa clinic ng Alpas sa bayan para mag-restock ng mga gamot. Sa bayan lang din ang pinakamalapit na ospital, hindi na kinaya ng bata kaya binawian ng buhay sa tricycle.” They were silent for a moment.

“Kaya ito, napabili ako ng sasakyan. Para na rin sa mga ganoong emergency o sa iba pang kailanganin sa sitio. Kaso madalang lang talagang magamit kaya ganito na.” Paulo slightly laughed to ease the sadness.

Stell was amazed with Paulo’s kindness and generosity. He even bought a car for the sitio’s emergency purposes and from what? A modest income from fishing.

“Bakit hindi nila padagdagan doktor o kahit nurse dito?” Stell asked.

“Ang dahilan palagi galing bayan ay kakaunti lang ang populasyon ng barangay ng Alpas kaya ayos na ang isa. At saka mahirap daw ang daan, na totoo naman talaga. Tinambakan lang nila ng mga bato at graba ang daan, hindi naman nila matuloy-tuloy sementuhan o aspaltuhan.” Paulo shook his head.

“Ilang beses ko na ‘tong nilakad. Wala raw budget, eh paano nagkaroon ng graba ang daan? Hanggang doon lang ang kinaya ng budget? Hindi lang ako, sila Ken pati ibang matatanda sa amin nagpunta na para ireklamo ‘to, pero wala pa rin.” They both sighed at the same time.

“I hate how public officials or public servants ignore these types of things. As long as they don’t face what you’ve been experiencing, they wouldn’t be doing anything. Gusto pa ata nilang magpunta tayo sa sumbungan ng bayan at ipahayag sa buong madla kung anong nangyayari bago nila solusyonan ‘to eh!”

“Ganun naman talaga karamihan sa kanila diba? Kailangan pa atang ipamukha sa kanila how incompetent they are bago sila magsiayos. Nakakalungkot.” Stell was furious. The servants of the public people should be able to do their thing. That’s why they are called “public servants”, to deliver service to the people and to accommodate the public needs. But what some of them were doing was serving themselves to accommodate their greed and personal interests. _Fucked-up people._

“Buti na lang ngayon nagawan na ng paraan. What the government should cater was held by a private company. Tingnan mo doon.” Paulo pointed in front. Laborers were working for the road construction. And the sign says, “Project of The Bay’s Nest”.

“Ano? Inasa nila sa private company ang dapat trabaho nila? I can’t believe this.” Stell shook his head.

“Can’t wait for the next election, let’s vote rightly.” Paulo said and Stell nodded.

“We should.”

“Alisin na natin ang bad vibes, nandito na tayo.” Paulo smiled and parked the pick-up in front of a logistics facility.

Stell was surprised that they reached the town fast. The distance from Alpas to the town is not that far, it’s just that the way was difficult for smaller vehicles. He remembered bouncing inside the tricycle from time to time when he first went here because of the rough road.

Paulo went out and quickly went to Stell’s side to open the door. _Mahirap lang buksan ang pinto, don’t overthink!_

“Patulong ipasok sa loob ‘to Tey.” Paulo said as he opens the cargo space of the pick-up which carries foam boxes.

“Ipapadala mo lahat ‘to?” Stell asked and lifted a box.

Paulo nodded. He carried one too and walked to the courier service shop. Stell followed. “Saan mo ipapadala?”

“Sa Cavite. Every month nagpapadala kami sa isang charity foundation doon.” Paulo answered.

“Weh? Malapit lang din ako sa Cavite, anong foundation ‘yan?” Stell said. Not minding that he’s unfolding a bit of his personal life. _It’s okay, I’ve known Paulo for a while now. He’s the closest person to me right now._

“Talaga? The Bay’s Nest ‘yung pangalan, familiar ka?”

“Hindi pa, pero iyan din yung may road project na nadaanan natin kanina diba?” He asked.

“Oo, iisa lang yun. Magandang hapon po!” Paulo greeted a clerk.

“Oy, Paulo! Tinanghali ka ata ngayon?” The man greeted back and called for someone to get the rest of the boxes.

“Opo, marami-rami rin ‘tong dala ko ngayon. Si Tey po pala kaibigan ko.” Stell smiled and the man nodded at him. He put down the box he’s lifting.

“Ito ang form, Paulo.”

Stell went to Paulo’s side to peek on the form he’s filling in. _Nase, John Paulo B. Ohh, that’s his full name?_

“Hi, John Paulo.” Stell said while smiling and Paulo just shook his head.

“Tuwa ka naman sa pangalan ko?”

“Oo, cute lang parang ikaw. Ayiiee.” Stell teased poking Paulo’s side. The man just laughed and wiped his finger then continued filling in the form.

“Uuwi na ba tayo after nito?” He asked while watching the boy transfer the boxes from the pick-up. “Saglit lang pala, tulungan ko muna siya.” Stell pointed to the boy. Paulo quickly raised his head and glanced at Stell and the boy.

“‘Wag na, last na ‘yong buhat niya. Gusto mo na bang umuwi o gala muna tayo?” Paulo gave the form to the clerk and thanked him.

“Syempre mas gusto kong maglibot muna ‘no. Ngayon pa lang naman ako nakapunta rito, except nung unang araw ko.”

They both thanked the clerk and the boy then went out of the shop. “Merienda muna tayo?” Paulo asked.

Stell glanced at his wristwatch and it was already three o’clock. “Ang tagal na pala natin? Pero sige kain muna tayo. I know you love food so much.” He laughed.

“You know I do.” Paulo smiled at him.

“Saan tayo kakain?” They walked on the sidewalk. The town looks more advanced than Alpas. They got groceries, pharmacies, hospital, school, and all that is necessary for the basic needs of the people. While the sitio only got some _sari-sari_ stores, _karinderya_ , and a clinic.

“Doon sa may tapat ng dagat, may masarap na kainan.” Paulo answered and he was greeted by most of the people they pass by.

“Madalas ka siguro magpunta rito, dami mong kakilala ah.” Stell noticed.

“Huh? Hindi naman.”

“Anong hindi? Tango ka nga ng tango sa mga nakakasalubong natin. Grabe, ikaw ba ang tinanghal na Mr. Congeniality dito?” Stell grinned and Paulo laughed at him.

“Why does it feel like you’re the Mr. Congeniality type? Hmm.” Paulo looked at him and placed his fingers on his chin as if thinking something.

“Well, I really was. Do I ooze out some of that friendliness in me?”

Paulo nodded. “You always do. Nung una kitang nakita kahit naka-straight face ka, you look bright and affable.”

“Talaga ba? You know, I was really dejected before and during the trip here. But as I land my feet on Alpas and saw the place, that feeling lessened.” _I’m slowly opening up to him._

A friend who can understand him might help. Stell had been keeping his feelings and thoughts to himself, and that didn’t help. He knew he needed to let his problems out. Paulo might help. _I will tell him when I’m ready._

“Do you still feel sad though?” Stell fell silent and he nodded after a moment. He still is.

They walked in silence. Stell don’t know what to reply or if he even would like to reply to that question. Paulo also didn’t say something else. Instead, Paulo grabbed his wrist and they passed through an arc that says “Welcome to Kaulayaw”. They went to an open fancy looking store with shell designs and tables underneath parasols.

Paulo reached for a chair and let Stell sat on it. Their table’s view was the beach. “I’ll order something you would really like, well everyone likes it, but I hope it lifts up your mood.” He said and went to the counter.

Stell was left alone for a moment. _I think I shouldn’t have said those. Now we’re awkward._

As soon as Paulo sat on the chair in front of him, “Sorry-.”

“I’m sorry-.”

They both said in unison. And just like that, they both laughed. “Sorry, Tey. Hindi ko yata dapat tinanong ‘yon.” Stell shook his head.

“Well I started the topic. Sorry Pau, I didn’t really want to make the atmosphere sad.” He said, placing his arms on the table and fell his face on it.

“Tey, lagi tayong magkasama. Lagi tayong nag-aasaran o nag-lolokohan, and we always laugh. But sometimes when you laugh, I can just sense it. Like there’s something missing, you were laughing but it looks lacking.” _So, he can feel it._

Paulo pat Stell’s head and started brushing his hair. “Sinabi ko na you look friendly, because you really are. You easily got close to the people of sitio. You’re talkative but then sometimes, you’re reserved. Alam ko na hindi dahil palakaibigan ka ay lagi kang masaya. Hindi mo sinasabi kung bakit ka nandito ngayon, kaya naisip ko rin na you need to somehow free yourself from the problems you have.”

Stell’s eyes were starting to well up but he still lifted his head and Paulo’s eyes met him. They were gentle, then became a bit pleading. “Tey, I’m here. You can trust me.”

A tear escaped his eye and he quickly brushed it away. He sat properly and Paulo’s hand fell of his hair. “Thank you, Pau. I promise I’ll tell you. I still have a week and two months left of my vacation.” He chuckled.

Paulo’s eyes widened as well as his smile. “Talaga? That’s good to know.”

“Here’s your order.” The waiter served two large bowls of _Halo-halo_ and left.

“You know how to comfort me, huh?” Stell said and dig in his _Halo-halo._

They continued talking, dismissing the sad conversation earlier. The sunset can now be seen as the two of them talk and laugh.

“Saglit, are we on the other side of the island?” Stell asked as he noticed the sun setting. If Alpas shows the sunrise, this means this is the opposite side.

“Yes. This is the largest part and the tourist destination of the island. Pinagmamalaki ang magandang sunset.”

Stell looked at the place and saw the line of resorts. “Tara I’ll show you something.” Paulo said.

They walked further away from the people and passed through a couple of clustered palm trees.

Stell stopped. “Paulo, where are you taking me?” They seemed to be in a middle of a forest with the number of trees surrounding them.

“Hoy! Wala akong gagawing masama ‘no! I’m taking you to my favorite spot. And I told you to trust me, diba?” Paulo said as he saw Stell’s hesitation.

“Sabi mo ‘yan ha! Pag talaga may ginawa kang masama ‘di ka tatantanan ng multo ko.” Paulo just laughed at Stell’s remark.

Shortly after they reached a small cove. “Paulo! This is amazing!” Stell exclaimed.

There were no one except for them. The cove is hidden that’s why they passed through thick trees. There were rock formations and the sunset was perfectly shown in their direction. There was a small hut where Paulo went to.

“May kubo pa talaga dito ah!” Stell said.

The hut is just simple, no things inside. “Ako gumawa niyan.”

“Talaga? Ikaw lang ba nakakaalam nitong cove?” Paulo shook his head.

“Nope, some curious tourists accidentally discover this place. Parang ako lang nung maliit pa ako.” He laughed.

“Nagpupunta ako rito para magisip-isip, kaya naisipan ko magtayo ng maliit na kubo.”

Stell went near the water and feel the air as he watches the sun go down. Paulo went beside him. He removed his slippers and went in the shallow part of the sea. “Buti na lang nag-shorts lang ako!” Stell said happily and splashed the water to Paulo.

After minutes of playing around, they sat on the sand and watched the sun. He felt Paulo watching him and then faced him.

“Tey, I don’t know if you feel the same way pero—” They heard a ding and felt his pocket vibrate.

“Wait, Pau. I’ll just check this.”

It was a message from Josh. As soon as Stell read it, his hands were shaking and his tears started falling. He can’t hold it back now and released all the pent-up feelings from earlier. Then he suddenly just felt his face buried in Paulo’s chest and a hand caressing his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow updates, sorry. But thoughts, thoughts, thoughts? <3


	6. Warmth in the Cold Night

The sun slowly fell down along with someone’s rapidly falling tears. The sight of bright red and orange hues was amazing but somehow, someone’s feeling blue. It’s sad how something so beautiful was suddenly forgotten to be appreciated as you focus on melancholy.

As the both of them sat on the doorway of the hut, in front sets the large sun.

“I-I… I…” Stell can barely speak as his cries were pouring hard. He cannot contain his sobs making it difficult to breathe.

Paulo was there embracing him. Patting and brushing his back delicately. Whispering nice things to his ear probably trying to ease him.

But, maybe. Maybe melancholy and a scenic beauty complement each other. How one can perfectly alleviate someone’s grief by its magnificence, and how the other can grow more beauty by its recollection of witnessing meaningful and deep stories.

“Shh, pour it all out. Just… let it out.” Paulo whispered soothingly. The lull on Paulo’s voice made Stell cry more. It is as if that voice would not judge him. It feels like that voice wants him to be free. And that voice would not pain him more.

Paulo was humming a tune on his ear. It was unfamiliar yet calming. And after who knows how long he was crying, his tears finally stopped falling. His upper body still springs up from time to time because of his sobs. And Stell knows Paulo’s shoulder is now damp because of him but he didn’t want to remove the warmth of his embrace.

Stell can now feel the embarrassment of crying this long and even on Paulo’s shoulder. He must have been looking like a mess and he don’t want Paulo to see him appearing pathetic. Unknowingly, Stell tightened his hug and almost compressed his face on Paulo’s neck because of shame.

A finger was circling his back. At first it was appeasing but then Paulo prods his finger on his back making him go ticklish. His back would arch everytime Paulo pokes it and he can’t help but laugh.

Stell finally let go of the hug to stop Paulo from what he’s doing and there he saw his teasing smile.

“Tapos na?” Paulo asked while chuckling.

Stell nods his head still smiling. “Dungis mo!” Paulo laughed at him as he searches something in his pockets. He brought out a bunch of tissues and gave some to Stell.

“Ang dami niyan!” Stell exclaimed and laughed. “Nagho-hoard ka ba ng tissues?”

“Hoy hindi! Wala kasi akong dalang panyo kaya kumuha ako ng marami doon sa kinainan natin kanina.” Paulo explained and just shook his head. Since Stell was still laughing, Paulo crossed his legs, faces Stell, leans in and wipe the dried tears on his face.

Stell jumps from surprise with Paulo’s move. “Ano ba yan, kaya ko naman!” He said but Paulo didn’t step back and just continued to clean his messy and puffy face. He suddenly felt nervous that made his heart beat quite faster.

But he just let Paulo do it. His arms feel weak and he doesn’t want to move it. Stell just sat there intently looking at Paulo’s face. It was the first time they were that close to each other. He examined it closely and couldn’t remember how many times he complimented Paulo in his mind.

“Gusto mo rin bang ako na mag-pasinga sa’yo?” Paulo took a clean tissue and placed it on Stell’s nose.

“Sisinga na ‘yang baby ko~” Paulo baby talked while pinching Stell’s nose prompting him to blow it out.

Stell’s face must have crumpled, cringing on Paulo’s act that made the man laugh hard. He removed Paulo’s hand on his nose and took the tissue from it. “Ano ba ‘yan, Pau! Ako na nga!”

Paulo’s still laughing while he blows his nose. “Ang cringey nun!” Paulo said, can’t get over his craziness.

“Buti alam mo! Ginawa mo pa akong baby!” Stell remembers what Paulo called him earlier and felt his cheeks warming up, his heart also not helping as it continues to thump fast. _Baby talk lang ‘yun, hindi endearment!_

He collected the used tissues and set it aside. He ignored the thumping in his chest and just leans on the jamb and lets his legs hang outside the hut. By the side of his eye, he saw Paulo adjusting himself and rests his back on the other side of the jamb still sitting cross legged.

No one’s talking. Silence enveloped them as the sun is already nowhere to be seen but it left dark purple and blue colors in the sky. _What now?_

After reading Josh’s message, Stell broke down. With all the bottled-up feelings since their talk earlier he just can’t help prevent his tears from falling. And again, he can feel the sadness veiling him.

“Hindi mo ba ako tatanungin kung bakit ako umiyak?” Stell broke the silence. He turned his head to Paulo and saw him looking at him keenly.

“Handa ka na bang sabihin sa’kin kung bakit?” Paulo questioned him back.

They were silent once more. “Alam mo, hindi kita pipilitin sabihin sa’kin mga problema mo. But I already told you earlier, Tey. You can trust me.” Paulo said with a small smile and his eyes were sad too. _Do I transmit this dull energy to others?_

Starting with a sigh, he speaks. “I always felt like floating on the surface of water. Alone and apathetic.” Stell looked at the sea. “Baka kaya nandito ako ngayon?” He asks, as if talking to himself.

“It just felt nothing. Maybe numb from the pain? Because before floating, I was drowning. Imagine how I struggled to find my breath then after that I felt dead. That feeling sucks.”

Stell sighed. “I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying, but I’m just describing how it felt like.” He looked down on his fiddling hands. _Am I ready to tell someone everything? Or is it better not to tell him?_

“It’s alright if you don’t want to share the details of your problem. Nandito naman ako para makinig.” Stell softly smiled with what Paulo said.

“I was busy reaching my dreams.” _He’s Paulo. It’s alright._

Somehow, the moon suddenly showed up. Stell lifted his hand as if reaching the moon. Trying to catch it but nothing was caught in his hand.

“I think I became too focused that I forgot about myself… and other people around me. No, let me change it. I did become too focused.” He paused.

“While running on that path, lagi akong nadadapa, laging may harang. Para bang ayaw nila akong padaanin at abutin pangarap ko. Ang dami kong narinig na masasakit na salita galing sa iba’t ibang tao. And miserably, one of them was a person I trust.” Stell sadly smiled.

“Do you imagine the pain of being backstabbed by the person you trust the most? Hindi lang pala patalikod, kahit paharap sinasaksak ako ng masasakit na salita. ‘Yung taong kasama ko mangarap.” Stell lifted his feet, folded his knees and hugged his legs.

“Hinayaan mo lang siya magsalita ng masakit sa’yo?” Paulo asked.

Stell nodded. “At first, yes. Tanga ko ‘no? Bakit ba? Baka kasi sakaling mabalik yung pagkakaibigan naming tulad ng dati.”

He can see Paulo on his peripheral vision shaking his head. “Parang mas focused na nga ako noon sa kaniya kaysa sa pangarap ko.” Stell chuckled and continued. “Pero some of my friends reached out to me. My performances were failing. They suggested that I stay out of him. Siya raw kasi ang dahilan bakit unti-unti akong nawawala sa focus.”

“And there, natauhan ako, oo nga naman. Wala namang nangyayari, lumalaki ng lumalaki galit niya sa’kin sa di ko malamang dahilan. Hindi na nga yata mababalik friendship namin, hindi ko pa maaabot pangarap ko. I’d rather lose one than both, diba? Is it selfish? To just let go of the ones that causing me pain and pursue what I want in life?” Stell looks at Paulo, he was straightly looking at the sea.

“Mahirap since magkaibigan kami simula bata. Pero ginawa ko. Nagawa ko.” Stell continued and looked down as he felt a pinch in his heart. _Masakit pa rin pala talaga._

“May mga kaibigan naman akong mas handa akong suportahan. After that I became too focused, as in too focused on my career. Hindi ko na siya pinansin. Inalala ko lahat ng pangmamaliit sa’kin. I want to prove all of it wrong. It effectively made me not get hurt. Inside. But I got sick from overworking. Muntikan ko pang hindi matuloy pangarap ko.” He softly smiled as he shook his head remembering those times. How he begged for reconsideration and promised to do it right for the second time.

“After that, suddenIy, hindi na rin siya nagpakita. Masama mang pakinggan, pero not seeing him lifted a heavy feeling in me. And as I slowly reach my dreams, it just felt right. I was genuinely happy with what I’m having, my friends, my future plans. But then he came back and just like that, I found myself being ruined again.” A tear escaped his eyes and he quickly wiped it with his hand. “Back to feeling the pain I’ve felt before. It hurts so much that I ended up feeling numb. And I just became an indifferent person.”

A loud series of pop made the both of them slightly jump in their places. In front of them was a colorful fireworks display. Stell was looking at it, after every pop of it his body springs up. “Takot ka ba sa fireworks?” Paulo asked as he noticed it from Stell.

He shook his head. “Just not very fond of hearing loud sounds.” Stell’s hands were slightly trembling so he crossed his arms in his chest to hide it. _I hope this trembling will end soon. Bakit ba nauulit ‘to?_

“Saan ba ‘yon, bakit parang ang lapit at lakas ng tunog?” He asks.

Paulo was eyeing him, but he still responded. “Doon sa resort lang na pinakamalapit dito. Tuwing alas-otso ng gabi kung may event or program sila. Ayos ka lang ba talaga? Aabutin ‘to ng ilang minuto.”

Stell felt Paulo moved closer to him. He turned his head to him confusedly and Paulo took his hands from being crossed in his chest. “Nanginginig ka.” Paulo stated.

Paulo clasped both of their hands. The warmth of his hold felt safer than anything else. And again, he felt his heart beating fast as he looks at their intertwined hands. Stell still tremors every time the firecrackers pop but after some time it eventually faded.

He was staring at their hands and he intentionally looks down to hide his flushed face. But Paulo peeked at him. “Kinakabahan ka pa?”

His trepid from the sound of the fireworks subsided but Paulo’s making him more nervous. _Oo! Kinakabahan ako sa’yo! Anong ginagawa mo sa’kin?_

“Hindi na.” Stell lied and shook his head.

“Bakit namamawis kamay mo?” Paulo asked teasingly and it made Stell release their hands and hide his face more because of the embarrassment. “Joke lang! Hindi naman eh, slight lang!” Paulo laughed and Stell glared at him. _He always jokes every time, but I’m not complaining. He makes me feel lighter._

The fireworks display already stopped. “So, ano nang nararamdaman mo ngayon?” Paulo asked.

“Okay na, hindi na ako nanginginig.” Stell said as he feels his hands.

“Hindi, I mean, anong nararamdaman mo ngayong nilabas mo sa’kin ang problema mo?”

“Oh.” It was just a part of his story. He couldn’t address more of it. But it felt light conversing this with Paulo. “Magaan sa loob.” Stell genuinely smiled at him.

Paulo nodded. “He must have done something really wrong to you.”

Stell swiftly looked at him. “Huh? Paano mo naman nasabi?”

“Kasi you let go of your friendship kahit mahirap. You were happy after that. That means kahit anong sabihin o sinabi niya, wala nang magiging effect ‘yon sa’yo. Unless he really did something wrong.” Paulo said while slightly nodding his head as if he was spitting facts.

“Isa pa, it’s either hindi mo pa siya napapatawad o hindi siya humingi ng tawad mula sa’yo.” Paulo looked at him and continued, “That’s why you felt like floating, alone and apathetic. ‘Di ba ganon ‘yon? You felt hollow if something’s missing. And that’s forgiveness. That must be it. Sa akin lang ‘to ah, naisip ko lang naman.” He said warily. And it made Stell think. _Paulo’s right, I have not yet given forgiveness. But how if the one I will be giving it is not sorry?_

“Imbestigador ka ba? Talagang pinag-isipan mo ha.” Stell chuckled. “I’m really thankful, Paulo. Ayos na sa’kin yung merong makikinig sa’kin. But here you are, trying to understand me and my problems.”

“Syempre naman! Kaibigan kita, gusto kitang tulungan sa kung ano mang pinagdaraanan mo. Nararamdaman ko na there’s something deep that happened. Maybe if you let it out, you’ll feel okay again.” Why does everything he says is true? That something deep is a bigger problem and Stell doesn’t know if he can face it yet. _Slowly, just slowly, let me think more. And maybe I can tell them the truth, soon._

“Pero naiintindihan ko naman, hindi mo naman kailangang sabihin lahat. You have your own pace of coping up. _At sana kasama ako ‘don._ ” Paulo whispered something in the end but Stell didn’t heard it.

“Ano ‘yon?” He asked.

Paulo shook his head and asked, “Lagpas na ng oras ng hapunan, ‘di ka pa ba gutom?” He jumped out of the hut and faced Stell.

Why does Paulo always harmonize with a scenic view? The full moon, the bright stars and the sea in front looked more beautiful with him in the picture. Stell remembered that he brought his camera.

“Diyan ka lang, Pau! Kukunan kita ng picture.” He fished for his pockets and got his compact camera. He adjusted himself, finding the perfect angle for Paulo. _But he already looks perfect though._ Stell bit his lip at his thought.

Paulo poses fiercely or even funnily for Stell and he can’t help but laugh with his antics. “Ikaw naman picturan ko ‘dyan.” He went to Stell to get the camera.

“Maga pa ata ‘yung mata ko eh! Baka nga buong mukha!” Stell ranted while pushing his cheeks with both of his hands.

“Pogi ka pa rin naman!” Paulo said and he laughed when Stell pouted.

“Cute oh! Nakuhaan ko na nakanguso ka.” Paulo said with a wide smile. He took more pictures of Stell even if he’s too shy to pose for a picture.

“Tama na, dami mo na atang nakuha!” Stell also jumped out of the hut and went to Paulo. “Babalik na ba tayo?” He asked.

“Dito na lang tayo matulog.” Paulo said and walked towards the back of the hut.

“Huh? Hindi pa tayo kumakain, wala pati kumot o kahit ano, ang lamig kaya!” Stell complained. He is now hungry and he also have a hard time sleeping without a blanket.

“Hoy, Pau!” He followed Paulo and saw him squatting and reaching for something underneath the hut. “Pailawan nga, Tey.”

Even if he’s confused on what Paulo was doing, Stell still opened the flashlight of his phone and pointed it beneath the hut. They saw a seashell with a size of a hand. “Ang ganda niyan ah.” He said.

Paulo took it and gave it to Stell. It was smooth and quite heavy, and it got really nice patterns. He saw Paulo digging the sand where the seashell is placed earlier and something peered out. “May tinatago ka bang kayamanan dito, Pau?” Stell laughed while Paulo shook his head as he smiled.

Eventually, it showed a large rectangular box. “Pabuhat sa kabila, Tey.” They both lifted it up and a beautiful carved chest surfaced. “Tingin ko talaga, Pau, treasure chest ‘yan.” Stell laughed, but then his eyes widened and stepped back.

“That fits for a coffin. ‘Wag mo akong ilibing, Paulo!” He acted scared and that made Paulo laugh harder.

“Kung anu-ano talaga naiisip mong kalokohan!” Paulo said still laughing and he’s now opening the box.

It revealed different things, a cast net, a fishing pole, gas lanterns and more. “Tinatago mo lahat ‘yan sa ilalim?”

Paulo nodded. "Ito na ang kayamanan ko na sinasabi mo." He laughed and gave Stell a bucket.

"Mangingisda tayo ngayon?" Stell said excitedly. It has been so long since he went fishing.

"Oo, okay lang ba? Masyado ng madilim pabalik, dito na lang tayo magpalipas."

"Oo naman, 'no! New adventure with Paulo." He smiled widely and saw Paulo pouted his lips for a second. _Kita ko ‘yun, haha!_

"Gutom ka na ba? Baka matagalan pa bago tayo makahuli." Paulo said while untangling a small trap net.

"Nabusog na ata ako sa sipon ko." Stell laughed and Paulo joined him.

"Sabagay, sa dami ba naman ng iniyak mo. Pero diba dapat mas nagugutom ka na ngayon? Nakakaubos din ng energy ang pag-iyak." Paulo looks at him worriedly and stands up holding the net.

"Okay pa naman ako. Ikaw, kaya pa ba ng tiyan mo?" He joked. Paulo always eats and he must be hungry now since the last food they ate was just _halo-halo_.

"Matibay 'to ano." Paulo patted his stomach. "Hahanap muna tayo ng pang-pain para makabingwit." He walked towards a rock formation off the shore and Stell followed him.

The water is now colder and it made him shiver but he still went to Paulo. When the water reaches their knees, Paulo sets up the trap net and then he leans on the large rock. Stell went near him and sits on a smaller rock in front of Paulo. "Hintay muna tayo ng ilang minuto."

Stell nodded and feels the cold waves going back and forth on his legs. He looks at Paulo who's being shined by the moon while humming a tune. _I can say that I am attracted to him._

How can no one like Paulo? He gives solace, he got the humor, he's smart, he's talented, he's resourceful, and he's even good looking!

"Anong iniisip mo?" Paulo asked. Stell blushed. He might have been looking at Paulo for a longer time.

"Wala naman. Just... _how can you be that perfect._ " Stell said quietly and he felt embarrassed shortly. _Narinig niya ba?_ _Buti na lang din madilim, nakakahiya!_

"Anong perfect? Nobody's perfect nga diba. Marami rin akong shortcomings, Tey." Paulo said, chuckling. “Paano mo naman nasabi ‘yon, ha?” He asked smiling widely.

Stell just shook his head. “Wala, don’t mind me. Wala ka pa bang nahuhuli ‘dyan ha.” He reached for the trap net trying to avoid the conversation. _Bakit ko pa ba kasi sinabi ‘yun?!_

Paulo lifted the net and saw tiny fishes trapped inside and few worms tangled on the net. “Pwede na ‘to. Ilagay ko sa timba na hawak mo, Tey.” Stell stood up and positioned the bucket for Paulo to transfer the fishes.

They went back to the hut and he headed first, troubled that Paulo might bring back their conversation. So, he just counted the fishes out loud for Paulo to hear and not question him anymore.

“Ilan ba ‘yang nahuli natin, ang lakas mo magbilang ah.” Paulo chuckled behind him.

“Walo.” Stell responded too fast which made Paulo laugh more. He looked at him, “Bakit ka tumatawa?”

Paulo stopped laughing and bit his lip to suppress it. “Wala, don’t mind me.” He said, imitating what Stell uttered earlier. Stell glared at him and walked faster to the hut.

_Why do unfiltered words always come out of my mouth? Inaasar na naman tuloy ako nito. Hay naku!_

He put down the bucket and felt an arm on his right shoulder. Paulo looked at him closely. “Uy, galit ka ba? Naiinis ka na ba sa’kin?” He asked and pouted. How can anyone resist that look? Stell smiled at the sight and he just immediately felt his cheeks flushed.

Stell pushed Paulo’s face away jestingly. But he truly just wanted to push it away as their faces was too close and it’s making him nervous once again. “’Wag ka ngang magpa-cute ‘dyan!”

Paulo grinned. “Bakit? Effective ba?” He said while his eyebrows go up and down.

Stell shook his and tried hard to prevent his smile from coming out. “Sus, kunwari ka pa. I know I’m charming.” Paulo laughed hard as he ignited a gas lantern.

The wind suddenly blew to their direction. “Literal na humangin bigla.” Stell chuckled and took the lantern from Paulo. “Saan tayo mamimingwit?”

“Doon sa kabilang rock formations, medyo malalim ang tubig at madami-dami rin ang talakitok doon.” Paulo replied and took two fishing rods from his box.

“Kabisado mo talaga ‘tong lugar na ‘to ah?” Stell said as they walked towards the rock formations.

Paulo nodded. “Tambayan ko na ‘to simula pagkabata. Dito talaga kasi kami sa Kaulayaw nakatira ng pamilya ko, tapos lumipat sa Alpas nung nabili lupa namin. Mga katorse anyos ata ako ‘non.”

“Bakit anong nangyari dati?” Stell asked curiously. “Pero okay lang naman kahit ‘di mo sabihin kung ayaw mo.” He added.

“Hindi, okay lang. Yung pinagtatayuan kasi ng kubo namin dati sa tapat ng dagat, hindi talaga sa’min. Kumbaga, hindi buong beachfront property sa amin. Sa tatay ko at dalawa niya pang kapatid. Maliit na lote lang naman siya pero may bumili at naisipang gawing maliit na tuluyan ng mga bisita ng isla. Wait lang.” Paulo stopped talking as they reached the large rocks. He climbed the rock and reached for Stell’s hands.

“Dahan-dahan lang, Tey, medyo madulas saka matulis ang ibang bato. Doon ka rin umapak sa tinapakan ko.” Stell held the bucket and the lantern on his left hand and took Paulo’s hand on the other. They climbed the huge rock and as they reach the top, Stell was left speechless again.

In front of them is the vast sea reflecting the moon and the stars. The rock their standing at seemed to be four meters above the sea and the waves are strongly crashing against it. “Lahat ata ng spot dito magaganda.” Stell said in awe as he looked at Paulo who’s standing behind him and observing him.

Paulo nodded. “Hindi ka magsasawa sa ganda rito. ‘Wag ka masyado pumunta sa dulo, Tey, baka mahulog ka. Malalim ‘yang parte diyan.” He said as he laid down the fishing rods and went to Stell. He took the bucket from Stell and replaced his hand for support.

Paulo led him to stand at a spot to fish and he too stood beside Stell. He placed the bucket between them and gave Stell the other fishing rod. “Marunong ka maglagay ng bait sa hook?” Paulo asked.

Stell shook his head. “Casting at reeling lang alam ko.”

“Okay, next time tuturuan kita. Ngayon ako muna baka hindi na tayo makakain ngayon.” Paulo chuckled.

“Anong gusto mong pang-pain mo, worm or fish?” He asked.

“Fish?” Stell said unsure. “Okay, it’s a fish.” Paulo smirked and held the hook with a lure that is tied on the spring of Stell’s rod and attached the bait. Stell almost felt nauseated when Paulo hooked the tiny fish starting from its mouth and out the tail.

“Kaya pala pangisi-ngisi ka ‘dyan kasi alam mong mandidiri ako!” Paulo’s smirk turned into a laugh.

“Ayan, okay na. Ihagis mo na banda roon.” Paulo pointed at the preferred spot. He watched as Stell bended his knees, raised the rod in front of his face and quickly sweep it forward. After casting, Stell snapped the rod back up and reeled the line until the lure went to the spot Paulo pointed at.

Stell looked at Paulo inquisitively and the latter raised an eyebrow at him. “Galing ah!” Paulo gave him a thumbs up and that’s when Stell felt the need to release his breath. He didn’t know that he was already holding his breath while casting the rod. Maybe, he was unconsciously wanting an approval from Paulo and focused to do his best.

Paulo did the same and casted his own. They sat and quietly waited for a fish to be hooked. “Ay, may kuwento ka pa pala ano. Tuloy na natin.” Stell chuckled.

“’San ba ako natapos?” Paulo thought for a while and continued. “Ayon na nga, hindi pumayag si tatay doon pero gusto ng mga tiyahin ko kaya wala na ring nagawa. Hindi rin naman kalakihan ang nakuha ni tatay kasi tatlo silang naghati. Kaya lumipat kami sa Alpas, doon nagtayo ng panibagong kubo. Panibagong tahanan.” Paulo smiled after telling his story.

“Masaya naman sa Alpas.” Stell said and Paulo nodded.

“Totoo. Sa Alpas, gaya ng pangalan niya, malaya ka. Kahit maliit lang na parte ng isla, maganda at masaya. Mababait ang mga tao. Mayaman pa. Hindi kayamang nakapaloob sa mga parihabang papel, kundi sa likas na yamang meron ito.”

Stell nodded approvingly on what Paulo said. “Hindi na nga yata problema dito ang pera kasi nasa paligid na ang resources.”

“Noon hindi talaga. Kaso ngayon, habang umuunlad, nadadagdagan din ang mga gastusin. Masaya ang lahat nang nagkaroon ng kuryente rito, ‘yon pala mataas di ang babayaran. Tumataas din ang matrikula ng kolehiyo kaya hindi na ako nakatungtong ‘non.” Stell’s eyes widened with the new information about Paulo.

“Talaga ba? Saglit ilang taon ka na ba? Nakatatak na kasi sa isip ko na same age tayo kahit ‘di ko pa alam talaga.” As much as Stell don’t want to interrupt Paulo, he is really curious about his age.

Paulo chuckled and answered. “Oo nga pala, ‘di pa natin alam edad ng isa’t isa. 26 na ako, ikaw ba?”

“Ohh, akala ko talaga same age tayo pero isang taon lang naman. 25 na ako. So, ayon balik tayo sa kwento mo. Hindi mo na ba pinursue mag-aral ulit?” He asked curiously.

“College? Hindi na. Pero, I graduated with a TESDA course nung nag-legal age na ako. Bago ‘yon, two years akong sumasama kay tatay na regular sa pangingisda.” _Wow._

“Anong TESDA course kinuha mo?” Stell didn’t mind looking at his hook and just turned to Paulo and give him his full attention.

“NC II, Performing Arts in Song. Almost two months lang ‘yon at wala pang isang libo ang fee.” Paulo didn’t fail to surprise Stell with every information he relayed. This means Paulo is really a singer as he graduated with this course.

“Tey, gumagalaw na ‘yung string mo.” Paulo noticed and stood up. He took Stell's hand once again to support him for standing up.

Stell reeled in the string and caught a _talakitok._ Paulo took it out of the hook and placed it inside the bucket. He replaced it with another bait and let Stell cast the rod again.

"May isa na tayo, more to come, please." Stell said and chuckled. They went back to their previous sitting positions.

"Anong ginawa mo after you graduated?" Stell asked continuing their conversation.

"Fortunately, a local repertory company hired me. I acted in musical theaters in some parts of the country. Minsan meron din outside the country." _I feel like my mind is going to pop. I can't help but be amazed with Paulo every single time._

"Four years din ata ako nag-act, tapos I stopped. Bumalik ako dito. Can't stay out of the sea for too long. Fishing is my first love." As he said his last sentence, his string moved and he caught a fish.

"Oh diba, nay nahuli ako bigla." Paulo laughed.

"You didn't like acting on theaters?" Stell asked.

"Hindi naman. Mas prefer ko lang talaga kumanta. Namatay rin si tatay noon kaya bumalik ako. Three years ago, pumalaot siya. Hindi na nakabalik. Kaya ako na lang babalik.”

"Oh. Sorry, hindi ko alam." Stell didn’t know what to say.

"That's okay. Three years na rin naman. And that's why the sea will always have a special part in me. Sa pangingisda ako lumaki, marami akong natutunan dito. Lalo na ang pagiging pasensyoso at matiyaga. Everything will fall right into place in the right time, pero syempre kailangan paghirapan mo. Kaya ngayon I’m a full-time fisherman at suma-sideline-sideline paminsan-minsan.” Paulo laughed and it seems like something registered in him.

“If hindi mo pa alam may tatlo pa akong kapatid. Ako panganay." _I didn't know!_

This seems to be the first time they talked about their personal lives and experiences. For the past three weeks, they have known each other with just their present selves, their likes, or hobbies. They joke around and sometimes talk seriously with particular matters but their personal lives seemed to have a wall that they cannot enter. Today, as Stell broke down, they become more open with each other. Or is it because it just felt right with the two of them?

"Hindi ko alam! Bakit hindi mo pinapakilala sa Alpas ha?" Stell said pouting, sad that Paulo didn't even introduced him to his familiy even though they were always with each other in Alpas.

"Eh kasi, wala naman sila sa Alpas. Nandito sila sa Kaulayaw." Paulo laughed and squeezed Stell's pout.

"Paulo, malansa!!!" Stell wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and Paulo just laughed harder.

"Sorry, sorry. Nalimutan ko humawak pala ako ng isda." He choppily said because of his mid-sentence laughs.

 _"Hay naku, pasalamat ka cute ka."_ Stell said quietly, not wanting Paulo to hear it.

"Anong sabi mo?"

"Wala! Sabi ko bakit nandito sila sa Kaulayaw tapos ikaw nasa Alpas?" He diverted his previous sentence into this question.

"Bumalik kami sa dati naming bahay. Paunti-unti nabili namin pabalik 'yung lupa. OFW si nanay noon, bumalik din nang pumanaw si tatay. Malaking tulong din talaga noong nagkaroon kami ng break for an international show para makuha yung lupa. ‘Tas ako masaya sa Alpas kaya roon ako madalas." Stell can't help but be proud with Paulo's accomplishments with his family.

"Nakaka-proud naman ang panganay ng pamilya Nase. So, kailan mo ako ipapakilala sa pamilya mo, hmm?" Stell asked. _Wait, I think I sounded wrong? Bakit naman ako ipapakilala? Importante ba ako?_

"Gusto mo bukas agad eh." Paulo responded. "Nandito na rin naman tayo, why not 'di ba."

"Oyy, joke lang 'yon ano. No need naman na ipakilalala. _Kaibigan lang naman ako."_ He said the last sentence quietly and he hopes Paulo didn't hear it.

"Basta bukas punta tayo sa bahay! Ayon! Meron ulit." Paulo stood up as his hook caught another fish. He quite struggled reeling it in and it's because the fish is big.

"Ayos, ah! Ang laki niyan!" Stell said happily. They fixed their rods and went back to the hut with three fishes caught.

Paulo sets up a bunch of firewood and a metal grill above it. "Sa totoo lang, Pau, si doraemon ba 'yang box mo at ang dami mong gamit."

"Always ready lang. Halika na nga rito, marunong ka ba magtanggal ng kaliskis at bituka ng isda o dito ka na lang sa apoy?" He remembered the fish bait earlier. Though he is not easily disgusted, Paulo's teasing with it made him nauseated. "Oo naman ‘no."

"Sure ka? 'Di ka mandidiri?" Paulo said teasingly.

He breathes in as he closed his eyes. "Alam mo, Pau-"

"Sige na, oo na. Joke lang. Oh, ito kutsilyo, para sa isda 'yan ah, hindi para sa'kin." Stell bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing and just took it and the bucket to the sea to clean the fishes.

He glances at Paulo from time to time as he removes the scales and the giblets of the fish. He learned more about him today, and that made him feel much deeper for Paulo. His experiences were definitely inspiring. Despite having difficulties in life, he still thinks positively and responsibly. Life here in the island surely made him always grateful and contented, but still curious and searching.

They talked more as they grilled the fish and ate it. It was a long and tiring day. Paulo unrolled a weaved mat inside the hut and placed two small pillows. Must be included inside his limitless chest.

They laid down just a few feet away from each other and stared at the hut's roof, watching the moving shadows of the fire of the gas lantern. Stell turned his back at Paulo to read Josh's message earlier.

_From Josh:_

_Stell, hinahanap ka sa'min ni Andrei. Ayaw ko sana sabihin kaso pinipilit niya kaming sabihin sa'yo 'to. And also, the police found a lead. Call me when you're free._

He rested his phone beside his head and laid down his back again. _I've got a few more months left of my vacation. After this, I'll face this problem. I just want to enjoy this time and let my feelings flow freely._

"You are ideal.” Stell said suddenly.

"Huh?" Paulo turned to him, confused on what he's saying.

“Tinanong mo ako bakit tingin ko sa'yo ay perfect. Kasi… you are the ideal I always thought.”

Paulo didn't respond that's why Stell flipped his body to turn to him and saw Paulo genuinely smiling at him. He looks so happy that it warmed Stell in this cold night.

"Gusto kita, Tey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me almost a month to update, I'm really sorry T_T I hope you enjoyed this chapter though <3
> 
> few notes: I'm not knowledgeable about fishing but I did research abt it; another one abt the TESDA course, there is really a NC II for Performing Arts (Song) but due to limited resources online I'm not sure of it's fee, I just related it to the other courses. Thank you for reading! (not sure when to update next)


	7. Finally Opening the Box

How do you come up of your ideal person? Where do you base it? Do you really search and wait for that someone?

With Stell, it was simple. His experience made him just wish for someone who would understand him. Because being understood means everything to him. It’s not just about for your partner in life, he just wants someone who will comprehend him. He thinks that if you are being understood deeply, that means they know what you feel, they know whether you do is right or wrong and they will help you get through things. And by just being there for him is the simplest way. He sure has friends but there are things he couldn’t express to them.

It’s not wrong to aspire being understood by others, right?

Paulo was there listening to him, taking it all in and giving out thoughts. _He’s trying to understand me, right?_

The only thing that he is fearful of, will he stay?

“Gusto kita, Tey.”

Those words were said in a sweet and reassuring manner. Stell can’t deny the happiness he felt inside when he heard it. The butterflies in his stomach were as chaotic as his fast beating heart.

“Gusto as a friend? O gusto ah… uhm… romantically?” He asks, before he go all out hoping for Paulo.

“I think the first question is already given. And… yeah, I like you that way.” Paulo answers with a shy smile.

That’s it. Paulo likes him. Stell can’t help it and turned his back on him as he felt his face warming up and his smile curving in. This seems to be the first in a long time he felt great happiness again. But he almost forgot what he is afraid of. With all his problems piled up, will Paulo get not tired of understanding him?

The smile worn off his face. And with his back still facing Paulo, he asks, “Gusto mo ako kahit hindi mo pa talaga ako kilala? Magugustuhan mo pa rin ba ako kahit marami akong problema?”

He sat up and faced Paulo who is surprisingly already seated. “Uh-huh.” Paulo nodded at him.

“Kung tatanungin mo ako kung bakit, marami-rami akong masasabi.” He laughed and continued, “Gusto mo ba malaman?”

Stell didn’t respond, so Paulo took it as yes. “Alam mo, kahanga-hanga lang na kahit may problema ka, nakikihalubilo ka pa rin sa iba at napapasaya mo sila. Maybe that’s truly your nature, you are strong. I admire it and there is this strong desire in me to help you get through your rough path.”

Paulo must be talking about how he converses to the people of Alpas. That’s how he tries to set aside the problems in his mind. Talk and kid with other people and somehow, he felt the happiness in it. But going home alone, remembering all of it, makes the unhappiness again creeps in. He didn’t know that having this façade made him look strong. Experiences must made him resilient. _But I did become vulnerable._

“Hindi mo pa ako kilala.” Stell repeated.

“Kilala kita.” Paulo said with a knowing smile and it made Stell nervous. _Kilala na niya ako?_

“H-huh?” He uneasily asked.

Paulo nodded. “Ikaw si Tey. ‘Yung may seryosong mukha ‘nong una kong kita, pero ang laki at ganda ng ngiti, lagi ka ring sumasabay sa mga trip ko. ‘Yung maraming kwento pero masikreto pa rin.” He stopped to chuckle, “Si Tey, ‘yung magaling kumanta, masarap magluto—”

Stell cut Paulo’s enumeration “Oo na, oo na.” He laughed.

“Pero gaya ng sinabi mo, marami akong sikreto na hindi sinasabi sa’yo.”

“Kilala kita, pero hindi pa rin kita kilala.” Paulo uttered, eyebrows crossing, probably also confused to what he said. “It feels like I know you deeply already, your personality, some of your likes and dislikes, I know how to make you laugh, I know you as an individual. But at the end of the day, I’m not sure if I really know you. Is your name really Tey? Where do you live? What do you do?”

It was dumbfounding that Paulo thinks that way. Stell intentionally didn’t want to burst out his personal bubble. Liking someone was even at the back of his mind.

“But that doesn’t matter. Because I see how true your actions are. And I see how you wanted to be better. That’s how I knew I like you.” A genuine smile curved in Paulo’s lips. And Stell almost wanted to cry again because of Paulo’s declarations. 

He felt thriving. Paulo made him want to open up. He is hooking him out of the vast desolate sea he made for himself. And somehow, the feeling of apathy is slowly waning away. He is neither a fish nor any creature that is meant to be living in water. He is just a listless human, floating away. And he is truly glad that Paulo had seen him and helps him get out of his lonely water.

The urge to hug Paulo was immense that it made him jump off of his seat to kneel and embrace him. Paulo must be taken aback as they almost stumbled down if not for his agile hands landing against the floor to support Stell’s weight.

“Thank you, Pau.” He sincerely said. Warmth was brought to him when he felt Paulo’s arms wrapping on his waist. He will surely tell Paulo about himself tomorrow.

“Ayan na ba reply mo sa ‘Gusto kita’ line ko?” Paulo laughed and Stell almost wanted to strangle Paulo’s neck for spoiling this sweet moment.

He was about to let go of their embrace but Paulo just tightened his hug on Stell. “Joke lang. Let’s stay like this for a moment, please. And, hindi mo naman kailangang sagutin ‘yon dahil hindi naman siya tanong. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na gusto kita.”

Stell also wanted to stay this way but his heart was beating way too fast that he’s so sure that Paulo feels it too. “Kinakabahan ka ba? Or is your fast beating heart a confirmation that you somehow like me too?”

His cheeks flushed. That’s very straightforward of Paulo to say. Even so, he still nodded his head before burying his face onto Paulo’s neck. He felt Paulo chuckled. “Sabi ko na nga ba.”

_Ang yabang din talaga nito eh._ He thought but his smile just widened. “Yabang mo. Pero… halata ba?” Stell asked, still not moving away from his position. This is way too comfortable to let go.

“Halata ang alin?” Paulo innocently asks that made Stell groan. They surely know what Stell was asking for. Paulo just wants to hear it from him.

“Alam mo kung ano ang tinutukoy ko, Pau.”

“Ha? Hindi ah, ano ba kasi ang halata?” Paulo continued to feign innocence and Stell felt Paulo’s shoulders faintly moving up and down. _He’s laughing!_

“Na gusto kita!” There, he finally said it and escaped from Paulo’s hold. He quickly laid back down, turning his back at him and covering his face though he knows Paulo wouldn’t even see his tomato red face.

But Paulo was instantly behind him, towering over him to look at his face. He held both of Stell’s hands to lift it off as he laughs. Stell tried to resist it but just gave in. He laid down again on his back and looked at Paulo in his eyes who’s still holding both of his hands.

“Ano? Bakit? Matutulog na tayo diba?” Stell said rapidly, changing the topic which made Paulo laugh harder. He lets go of Stell’s hands and nodded. “Sige, tulog na tayo.”

“Bukas na lang tayo mag-usap.” Paulo grinned as he saw Stell’s eyes widened. “Talikod ka na ulit ‘dyan. Wala akong gagawin, tititigan ko lang likod mo.”

“Ang saya mo, ah.” Stell said, noticing Paulo’s grin which cannot be ripped off his face.

Paulo was now leaning against the wall of the hut. “Syempre naman. Sinong hindi sasaya eh, gusto rin daw ako ng gusto ko.” His smile grew wider.

“Okay, matutulog na ako! Mahiga ka na nga rin ‘dyan.” Stell said as he turns his back again. Here come his teasing remarks that made him bit his lower lip for containing his smile.

He felt Paulo stood up so he turned to him and saw him taking the gas lantern. Paulo placed it a few feet away from Stell’s head and laid closely beside him. His eyes were slowly closing as the only thing he hears were the sound of crickets and the calming waves.

“Hindi ka ba nilalamig?” Paulo suddenly speaks that made his eyes shot back open.

It is cold, but Paulo’s proximity to him made it a little bit warm. “Nilalamig.” He quietly said, feeling the exhaustion of the day.

“Uhm… is it… ah… is it okay to hug you from the back?” Paulo stammered, “Para lang hindi ka ginawin since wala tayong kumot.” He then explained.

It made Stell smile. “That would be fine.”

With his back still facing Paulo, he felt an arm slowly crawling on his stomach and a warm body cling into his back. The warmth it brought made Stell sigh soothingly. “Sweet dreams, Tey.” Paulo said as he hums him an unfamiliar tune lulling him to sleep.

The harsh crashing sound of the waves was the first thing Stell heard as he woke up. His eyes were closed as he stretches his arms up still laying down the mat. He slowly sat up and stretched his legs, yawning with all his might. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Paulo, leaning against the doorway of the hut with his handsome smirk on. “Good morning, pretty boy.”

Stell instantly blushed, remembering what happened last night. He nervously removed his morning glory and touched the sides of his lips if there are dried drools. _Buti na lang wala._ “Anong oras na?” He asks but still searched for his phone to check the time. It’s already seven.

“Ay, walang bati pabalik.” Paulo pouted.

Stell smiled. _That pout can make a whole day better_. And the fact that it’s still morning means that this will be a good day.

“Good morning, Paulo. Maganda ba ang tulog mo?” He light-heartedly said as he stood up and stepped out of the hut.

He continued stretching his body. “Hala, wala pa tayong toothbrush simula kagabi!” Stell remembered and covered his mouth. Paulo just laughed at him.

“Masarap ang tulog ko. Pero mas masarap magiging almusal natin ngayon. Punta na tayo sa bahay, doon ka na rin magtoothbrush.” Paulo beamed.

“Huh? Ano? Agad-agad? Nakakahiya, Pau!” Stell panicked.

“’Wag ka ngang mataranta ‘dyan, mababait naman mga tao sa bahay.” Paulo went inside to roll the mat and pick up the pillows they used.

He placed it back inside his rectangular chest and buried it in the sand, leaving the shell on top of it. “Baka magulat ‘yon sila na may kasama kang bumisita?” Stell asked.

Paulo shook his head and smiled. “Alam naman na nilang pupunta ka.”

“Sinabi mo na? Wait, kilala nila ako?”

“Oo, nakwento na kita kay Nanay. Tara?” Paulo was now looking at Stell which mouth is agape.

“Bakit?” Stell asked unbelievably.

“Bakit naman hindi? Lagi kaya tayong magkasama the past three weeks.” Paulo responded and took Stell’s wrist when he still didn’t move from his place.

Stell didn’t got the chance to protest since he was being pulled by Paulo. They walked on the same path they took to get to the cove and Paulo did not let go of his wrist once. He would even support Stell when passing rocks and bushes.

As they got out of the mini forest, the long beach welcomed them. There were only few people walking on the sand and swimming in the beach.

“Ganitong oras, buhay na buhay na mga tao sa Alpas.” Stell stated.

Paulo nodded, “Panigurado tulog pa mga tao dito. Masaya dito ‘pag gabi, may bonfires, may night life din since dito ang puntahan ng mga turista.”

They continued walking until they reached a two-storey house, same style as theirs back in Alpas but larger. Paulo let go of his wrist and turned the knob of the door. A smell of garlic rice wafted their noses and it made Stell’s stomach grumble.

“Nandito na kami, Nay!” Paulo went to his mother who is preparing food on the dining table, he took her hand and raised it to his forehead then he kissed her cheeks. _That’s so sweet!_

Paulo turned to him and introduced him to her. “Nay, si Tey po. Tey, si Nanay Grace.”

Nanay Grace smiled widely at him. She looked so beautiful even in her age and Stell can see Paulo’s resemblance to her. She was wearing a white Aztec maxi dress with sleeves. Is that a typical clothing in this side of the island or is she going out?

“Magandang umaga po!” Stell also took her hand to bless.

“Ang gwapo naman talaga nitong batang ‘to!” Nanay Grace seems too excited seeing Stell and she even pinched both of his cheeks.

“Nay, ‘wag mo namang panggigilan si Tey.” Paulo said removing his mother’s hands off of Stell’s face.

“Sorry, natuwa lang talaga ako. Gustong-gusto ko talaga bo—” She stopped midsentence while looking at Paulo. Stell turned to look at him and just saw him shaking his head. _Anong meron? Anong dapat sasabihin niya?_

“I mean, gustong-gusto ko talaga na makilala ka. Tuwing tumatawag yan si Paulo, ang saya-saya pag kinukwento ka.” She laughed and went to the kitchen counter to bring in some plates.

Stell looked at Paulo with a teasing smile. He is blushing! Stell laughed when Paulo just turned away and scratched his cheeks. “You’re really happy about me?” He playfully asked.

Paulo looked back at him and stared straight into his eyes, “Yes, Tey. I truly am.”

Stell profusely blushed. He didn’t expect Paulo to answer that so seriously. Is this how it feels for having mutually liking each other? Because his heart feels like exploding from having it filled with blood of happiness. Just a simple and sincere answer from Paulo was making him feel all sorts of lovely things.

Paulo was now the one who’s laughing as Stell stares at him bashfully. He held Stell’s hand and pulled him to the stairs. “Nay, maghilamos at sipilyo lang kami ni Tey sa taas!”

The upper floor has four doors. Paulo led him to a wooden door with beautiful patterns of sun and moon engraved on it. A single sized bed was the first thing he saw. “Kwarto mo?” Stell asks.

“Hindi, sa kapatid ko ‘to. Wala na akong kwarto rito kasi sa Alpas naman na talaga ako umuuwi, pero may mga gamit pa ako rito.” Paulo said going inside of the room and searched for something in a small wooden cabinet. Stell didn’t enter the room and just stood on the doorway watching Paulo.

Why would Paulo live away from his family? Stell can’t see or even sense anything wrong though since he seems close with his mother.

After digging the cabinet, Paulo handed Stell a face towel, a shirt and a new toothbrush. “Nasa dulo yung banyo, puting pinto.”

He took the things Paulo gave him and went to a white aluminum door with shell designs. Looking at himself in front of the mirror while brushing his teeth instantly made him in deep thought. He still can’t believe that it was just last night when they both confessed to each other and here he is now, in Paulo’s home, meeting his mother.

He is also not sure what would happen in the next hours or days. Would it still be just the same? Will something drastically change with their approach to each other? Stell doesn’t want to overthink, but fear of sudden change shrouds his mind. _I need to stop thinking too much. I want to enjoy this._

A knock brought him back from his thoughts. “Tey, tapos ka na?”

“Wait, malapit na.” Stell quickly washed his face with water and wore the shirt Paulo handed him. It was an orange oversized shirt, just as Paulo’s style. He tucked the front of the shirt inside his shorts and let it loose at the back.

He opened the door and saw how manly Paulo is while leaning against the wall in front of the bathroom. “Mauna ka na sa baba. Nakita mo naman na mabait si Nanay, baka panggigilan ka lang ulit.” He chuckled.

He went down and quietly walked to the round dining table. Nanay Grace was already seated and is currently in a call with someone on her phone. “Tawagan kita ulit mamaya.”

She dropped the call and smiled widely at Stell. “Maupo ka na rito, Tey.” She pointed the seat beside her.

It was awkward for Stell because Nanay Grace was just staring at him while still having that cute smile on. “Hay, kanina pa ako napapatitig sa’yo. Ang charming mo!” She exclaimed.

“Thank you po. Pero wala pa rin pong tatalo kay Paulo, gustong-gusto po siya ng mga tao sa Alpas.” He doesn’t know what to say but he thought of Paulo’s charm to the ladies back in the sitio.

Nanay Grace laughed. “Oh, I bet. But he charms mostly the middle-aged ladies. Mailap ‘yon pumorma sa iba, naku,” she stopped and impishly looked at him, “Eh, sa’yo ba?”

Stell flushed. Nanay Grace’s grin widened. “H-huh? Paanong sa’kin po?”

“Pinormahan ka na ba?” She asked quietly, probably not wanting Paulo to hear what they were talking about.

“Ah… eh…” Stell was shy to answer. Does confessing to him a form of ‘ _porma’_?

“Ang bagal naman ata ng anak ko!” She exclaimed.

“A-ah, hindi naman po.” Stell immediately blushed as he comprehended what he said. _Nakakahiya naman ‘to! Bakit ba kasi hindi pa bumababa si Paulo?_

Nanay Grace’s eyes widened. “Sabi ko na nga ba!” She heartily laughed. “So, may chance ba siya sa’yo?”

Stell thought he would be sitting here for breakfast but what’s happening right now is him being on the hot seat. “Uh, gusto ko rin po siya.” He truthfully said.

Nanay Grace squealed with delight. He was supposed to feel shy but her reaction towards their unlabeled relationship made him feel blissful. It was just starting and one of the most important people between them is already more than glad and appreciative.

“Mag-boyfriends na kayo ngayon?” She asked excitedly.

“Hindi pa po.” Saying the word ‘ _pa_ ’ feels different. It felt thrilling and hopeful.

“Bakit? Sa gwapo at talento mong ‘yan? Hindi na dapat pakawalan!”

He had been receiving lots of compliments from Paulo’s mother. _Talento? Did Paulo secretly take a video of me singing and showed it to her? Or… does she know me?_

He was about to reply but Paulo suddenly showed up and sat beside him. “Alin, Nay ang ‘di na dapat pakawalan?”

“Si Tey! Sino pa ba?” She mockingly responded to her son and it made Stell laugh. Paulo looked at him questioningly.

“Sino ba may sabing papakawalan ko siya?” He answered. Stell choked on his saliva. _Wait!!! What did he just say?_

“Hindi pa raw kasi kayo, ano pa bang hinihintay mo, John Paulo?” The conversation between this mother and son seems like they were just the two of them here.

“So, nagkausap na kayo tungkol sa’min?” Paulo said eyeing Stell on his side. “Hindi ba sinabi ni Tey na kagabi lang kami nagkaaminan?”

_Oh God! I just want to shrink right here at this moment._

“Kagabi pa lang ba? Kwento mo nga sa’kin, Tey, kung paano. Hindi naman ako kukwentuhan nito ng detailed.” Nanay Grace turned to him.

“Hay naku, Nay. Kumain na lang tayo. Kanina ka pa ba hina-hot seat ni Nanay?” Paulo asked him while reaching for the fried rice. Stell shook his head.

Paulo placed a certain amount of rice on Stell’s plate which is just the right amount on how he consumes his food. _He observes me so well, pati ito kuha niya._

Paulo was also about to place an egg on his plate when Stell took the serving spoon from him. “Ako na, Pau. Kumain ka na rin ‘dyan.”

As he raised his head, Nanay Grace was secretly taking a picture of them. His shyness seems like it already dissipated when he did a peace sign and smiled in front of Nanay Grace’s phone. Her smile grew fuller after Stell did that.

She put down her phone when Paulo raised his head after placing a few hotdogs on his plate. Paulo saw both of them smiling and he again looked at Stell askingly. Stell just shook his head and started eating.

“Asan nga pala sila, Nay?” Paulo asked before taking in a spoonful of rice.

“Kaaalis lang nilang tatlo pagdating niyo. Si Alex at Denise nasa summer camp, si Jose naman nagpaalam, maglalaro raw sila sa bayan. Maaga talaga dapat ako aalis ngayon, kaso sabi mo pupunta kayo kaya hinintay ko na kayo.”

“Saan po kayo dapat pupunta?” Stell asked.

“Sa may dulong beach cabin, dami pang aayusin may bago kasing darating ngayon.” Is that her job? Paulo hasn’t told him about his family yet. Well… so he does.

“Kayo po nag-aayos doon?”

“Oo, para hands-on, pero may ilang kasama naman ako. Nga pala, Paulo, may mga package ka na hinatid dito. Dalhin mo na mamaya pag-uwi niyo.”

They talked more, but it was mostly teasing of Nanay Grace to the both of them. She also asked about his stay for the past three weeks. He doesn’t really know if it’s weird not questioning him about his job, family or whatsoever. Is it only in dramas where the parents ask you your work and status before approving of their child’s relationship? Or does Nanay Grace and Paulo were just the same that they don’t mind those things?

They finally finished eating after Nanay Grace’s non-stop chatter. She left them soon to work on the beach cabin. It was a fun talk and she didn't let Stell feel unwanted. Stell and Nanay Grace clicked easily that it feels so good on his part.

Paulo was now in front of the sink washing the dishes while Stell is leaning on the kitchen counter beside him. "Ang saya kausap ni Nanay Grace."

"You two talk like you've known each other for the past years." Paulo laughed.

"That's really how I felt while talking to her. I like her so much!"

"More than me?"

Stell grinned. "Maybe."

Paulo turned off the faucet and faced him. "Ano?"

Stell laughed while moving out of the kitchen and went to the living room. He scanned the picture frames standing on a shelf beside the television set. There were individual pictures of the siblings and a complete family picture. Paulo is so handsome in short hair! His hair was falling down up until his eyebrows and that huge smile was so cute it made his eyes crinkle. Stell contemplated on which one Paulo looked better but he really looks so attractive in both short and long hair length.

They all have almost the same features especially Paulo and the girl who he thinks is the youngest. "Si Denise yan, bunso namin." Paulo was now beside him enumarating the names of his siblings. "This one is Alex." He pointed to the pretty girl with a small face, still resembling Paulo. Then to a boy, "Ito naman si Josue."

"Tapos ayan si Tatay." He said now touching their family picture.

"Magkakamukha kayong lahat. Your family is beautiful." Stell turned to Paulo and smiled at him.

"Tara na? Overstaying na yung sasakyan ko sa harapan ng logistics." Stell just remembered Paulo's pick up.

"Oo nga pala! Hindi ka ba mapapagalitan dahil 'don?"

Paulo shook his head and went under the stairs to check some boxes. That must be his packages. "Hindi naman. Kilala naman na nila ako."

Stell went to him. "Iyo yan lahat?" Pointing at the three boxes.

"Itong dalawa lang."

"Okay, ako na magbitbit nitong isa." Stell lifted a box that has Paulo's name. It was not heavy though, what would be inside this?

The box Paulo was lifting was larger and it looks heavier. "Ano mga laman nito?"

"Instruments and some other things. Let's see sa bahay."

Stell nodded and went outside following behind Paulo. There were already a plenty of people by the beach. Some seems like they were strolling, others were swimming with different styles of lifesavers, kids playing in the sand, and teenagers having a volleyball match.

They walk side by side in a comfortable silence. It seems like they have made a silent agreement to talk about their _relationship_ when they got home. That was fine, more time for Stell to think on how he would introduce himself. Nothing would change, right? But Paulo is the type to want something peaceful. The industry he's on is noisy and nosy.

They arrived Paulo's pick up and placed down the boxes. He hopped into the passenger seat while Paulo went inside the shop to thank the staff. Paulo went back and started the engine, "Anong iniisip mo?"

Is this the perfect time? "Uhm, why... uh, why did you prefer staying alone in Alpas rather than staying with your family? I know you said na masaya ka sa Alpas, but I can’t help to think about that." A random question left his lips. Okay, still not ready for it.

"Kanina mo pa ba iniisip yan?" Paulo chuckled, "Independence."

"Alam mo naman na dito sa atin, kapag panganay ka, you are the breadwinner of the family. You should stay and provide for them until all your siblings graduate and got a job. Pero hindi ganon mag-isip si Nanay at Tatay. They let me do what I wanted, they did not pressure me to give back kahit mahirap ang buhay. They let me become independent. Kaya nang nakuha na namin pabalik yung bahay sa Kaulayaw, sila pa mismo nagtulakan sa'king maging independent dito.” He laughed.

“They know how much I wanted to be one. And they let me be. But I always still give back, I’ve got so many more things I wanted to do for my family. And I want to do it independently. Ganito ako pinalaki ni Tatay. Marami mang tao ang handang tumulong at samahan ka, pero ang sarili mo ang pinakamakatutulong sa’yo.” Paulo removed his hand from the gear and placed it on top of Stell’s nearest hand resting on his lap.

“Nandito lang ako, Tey. Ilang beses ko na bang sinabi yan?” He laughed, “I’ll help as much as I can while you face every battle.” Stell smiled and slowly intertwined their hands. It’s warm and it fits. He looked up to Paulo who’s staring straight into the road, glancing at him from time to time.

“You don’t know how much I am grateful to meet you. Lagi mong pinapagaan loob ko, lagi mo akong chini-cheer up.”

Stell played with Paulo’s right hand for the rest of the ride. After every switch of the car’s gear, Paulo would find his hand to hold it again and Stell would trace the lines on his palm. No awkwardness between them as it just felt right.

After parking the pick up, they both went out and carried the boxes to Paulo’s home.

“Ngayon pa lang ata ako makakapasok dito samantalang feeling at home ka lagi sa bahay ko.” Stell said while checking out the house interior.

A shelf with neatly aligned books was the one he first spotted as they entered the house. Paulo surprisingly have many books. He also has a vinyl collection.

Paulo placed down the box on a coffee table and so Stell did the same. His eyes caught something familiar on the far bookshelf. The spine of the thin book seems to have purple clouds with gold lining. Is it really a book? Is there a book with that cover? He recognized it immediately because that was also the cover of his first album.

Stell heard Paulo unpacking the box and his eyes widened as he saw what was inside.

“A-are those… my merch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I really appreciate your kudos and comments. ♡♡♡


	8. Falling Deep-Rooted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight mature scene at the end(?)

It was a complete set of Stell Ajero’s merchandise.

And no doubt that the name of the receiver is John Paulo Nase.

Did somebody ask him to purchase those? Or… is he really the owner of that package?

If Paulo actually owns it, that means he knows Stell. But why didn’t he confront him for that? Stell’s mind was blank. He doesn’t know what to think of this situation. And he also doesn’t want to overthink up to the point that he might ruminate ill of Paulo’s intentions. So, he asks.

“Is that… yours?”

Paulo slowly nodded, eyes turning concerned and quite alarmed by Stell’s blank tone.

“Tey—”

“All this time… kilala mo na pala ako. Bakit hindi mo sinabi?” 

“Tey, wala akong intensyong masama,” Paulo started, he reached for Stell’s hand but the latter just pushed it away and stepped back. Paulo looked hurt, but he still continued, “I-I was waiting for you to tell me this.”

“You must be laughing on how foolish I am not knowing you already have knowledge of me.” Stell’s words were piercing with eyes gleaming in ire, “Or because the once rising singer halted his flourishing career, such a disappointment. Is that what you think? You pity me, is that it? Is that why you’re always with me? Did you feel the need to accompany a failure?”

His vision’s almost white and his heart was beating fast just as how he continuously spit out the questions. It went out. The fear of what people would think of his decision. The self-doubt, if people would still acknowledge him once he gets back. His name wasn’t that established in the industry. Is he really just that one-time rising singer?

Being in this long hiatus made him feel like a failure. It’s not that he wanted this. He just needs this to heal. From the pain of all things done. Emotionally, and… physically.

The sharpness of his words definitely sliced him back as he saw how offended and pain flashed Paulo’s widened eyes. And he felt the guilt right away. He shouldn’t have said those. It’s just that his fear was taking its toll and he was unable to stop himself from spitting those words.

Paulo was aggressively shaking his head, pleading to Stell, “N-no! Hindi, Tey! I am respecting your decision if you want to keep your identity to yourself…” the last words were almost inaudible but Stell certainly heard it.

Stell calmed himself but his chest incessantly tightens. Paulo looked resigning as he explains. So much for not overthinking. What he said to Paulo was awfully offending. And it breaks his heart to see Paulo pained by him. “I’m… sorry, Pau.”

He held his head down, humiliated. It hasn’t been a day but his tears are again finding its way to exit his eyes. Paulo was valuing his choice, but here he is, thinking harsh of him. Paulo didn’t say a word, he must be mad. _What a wonderful way to ruin this, Stell!_

“I-I’m s-sorry,” Stell couldn’t straightly say those words because of his sobs, “You must be u-upset about me. Aalis na lang muna ako.”

With his head still bowed down and eyes blurry, he slowly turned to the door. But before he can even reach the knob, Paulo pulled him to his chest. His cries grew louder as he wrapped his arms around Paulo’s waist, grabbing his shirt tightly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Pau. S-sorry.”

Stell couldn’t stop apologizing. And he won’t stop until Paulo forgives him. He wouldn’t want to lose him now because of his absurdity.

“Shh, Tey. I’m sorry, too. For not telling you sooner. I don’t think of you that way, I just really wanted to respect your choice if you sought to be not known here.” Paulo pats his back, appeasing him.

Stell was the one who accused him wrongly but Paulo was still apologizing. He buried his head further onto Paulo’s neck. How can he be so calm and kind?

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Nope,”

“But I was accusing.”

“I’m hurt, not mad. Did… do you really think of me that way?”

He removed his face from Paulo’s neck to look at him. Paulo’s hands slid down to the low of his back. “I-I don’t know.” Stell shook his head, “Sorry, Pau. I didn’t mean to say those words. It’s… just that…”

He couldn’t say it. But Paulo’s hazel eyes were indulgent. They were deep and understanding.

“You’re scared.”

Stell looked away. He got it quick. Paulo tightened his arms around him. “Why?”

“I… don’t want to stay as that one-time emerging artist.”

“Sure you won’t. Don’t you know how great you are? I’ve been watching your performances every time I got a good hold of signal here.” Paulo chuckled.

“You got remarkable songs with significant lines. I bet you my life, you’ll continue to top.”

He planted his lips onto Stell’s forehead. It was quick but comforting, except for his heart going wild. “You are talented and beautiful, inside and out. People will continue to love you.”

Paulo’s words ignited his dormant passion. He almost forgot that his friends, his management, and also himself wanted to have a vacation to kindle that lost zeal in him. This vacation is not what Stell had expected. He was still in doubt if this could really help him. But this is it. Slowly starting. It feels like the only important appraisal was of Paulo’s. And it was truly reassuring to hear a lift from him.

“You’re not saying that just because you like me?” Stell asked quietly.

“Of course not. I also performed before too, so I know. And… that makes me like you more.”

The flushed Stell was led back to the living room and Paulo sat him on the couch. He wiped Stell’s tears away and sat beside him.

“How long have you known?” Stell asked, fiddling his hands.

“Uhm… I have a hunch on your first day here.” His eyes widened, extremely surprised.

“What?!” That long already? He quickly turned to Paulo. “H-how?”

“Dahil sa pag-videoke natin.” He did notice that day!

“I wasn’t so sure until the next days when I searched up your name. Hindi tayo nagkita ng ilang araw noon diba?”

Stell nodded. “Pinag-iisipan ko kung paano ka haharapin ‘non,” Paulo chuckled, “I mean, should I beam at you with ‘Ikaw pala si Stell Ajero, hi, nice to meet you!’, or just pretend I didn’t know.” Stell winced at the first one and Paulo laughed from his expression.

“Obviously, ginawa ko yung huli. Hindi ka naman magpapakilala bilang Tey, kung hindi mo gustong makilala ng marami diba? Kaya, please don’t be mad at me if I chose to wait for you to introduce yourself.”

Stell nodded. “Thank you, Pau. I wouldn’t be here being myself without inhibitions if people knew me as Stell Ajero.”

“Hindi talaga.” Paulo grinned. “Kilala pangalan mo dito dahil naririnig ng marami sa radyo mga kanta mo, pero hindi alam kung anong hitsura. So, ‘pag nalaman nila, most probably pagkakaguluhan ka.”

It was nice to know that the residents here are listening to his songs. And it was also both amusing and reassuring to know that people don’t know his face. Disguising himself would be a difficult task, so he is thankful for that.

“Paano ka pa nakabili ng merch ko? Ang alam ko tigil na muna sila sa selling niyan.”

“I have my ways. Pero ang alam ko next month pa talaga ‘to dadating, kaya nagulat din ako.” Paulo just shrugged and laughed. “May tanong pala ako.” He added.

“Ano ‘yon?”

“Did you plan on telling me who you are or you wanted to stay as Tey for your whole time here?” Paulo asked softly.

“I was ready to tell you this day. Inunahan mo lang ako,” Stell smiled but it eventually fades. “I was hesitant to tell you, though.”

“Huh? Bakit?”

“You probably want a quiet life here in Alpas. And you know, me, uhm… being, ugh, why is it so hard to say?” Stell pinched his nose, frustrated that he cannot say the word out loud.

“What? Us being in a relationship will hinder my quiet life here?”

Okay, he really said those without hesitations. “Well, uh, somehow… yeah?”

It is flashier being an idol performer. Questions about life and relationships are commonly asked every interview. He remembered how it was quite difficult for him to truthfully answer the question about his songs’ inspirations before, and his songs are even about self-love. How would it turn out in the future if now he is gaining inspiration from Paulo? Just thinking of his next songs will be about romantic love made his face warm.

But, going back, he wouldn’t want Paulo to gain the attention if he doesn’t want it. “I don’t mind, though. Keep me a secret? Should I wait for the tabloids to headline something like ‘The singer-performer Stell Ajero is hiding a boyfriend in a remote island?’” Paulo laughed hard.

“What?” Stell was dumfounded on what Paulo said. “First of all, I don’t think I’ll be able to headline a newspaper. And most importantly, why does it sound like I kidnapped you?”

Paulo wouldn’t stop laughing, “Yeah, I constructed it wrong. But you acknowledge me as your boyfriend now, right?”

His grin was so wide. _He got me on that!_

“I didn’t say something like that!”

“Ayaw mo ba?”

Stell didn’t respond. Of course, he also wanted them to have that label, but what’s holding him back? Isn’t it just too soon?

“Don’t worry. Hindi naman kita minamadali. I-check ko nga ‘to kung kumpleto!” Paulo stood up and put out the items of the box.

Paulo arranged his posters, banners, photocards, hoodie, t-shirt, and lighstick on the table. Stell is starting to get shy with his face all over the table. “Bakit nilatag mo pa?!” Stell exclaimed and hid his face with his hands.

He heard Paulo laugh. “Gusto ko makita lahat eh. Saan kaya pwede idikit ‘to?” O _h my God, Paulo???_

It took until lunch to convince Paulo to not stick it anywhere in his house. Paulo would explain to him that posters are called posters for it to be posted or pasted. But it was just too awkward for him to visit Paulo’s house seeing his face stuck on the wall.

“Sa kwarto na lang siguro.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.”

“Why? You don’t want it to be posted here so you won’t see, kaya sa kwarto ko na nga lang. Or else…?”

Stell just shook his head as he felt his face heating up. _Ano na naman bang iniisip ng lalaking ‘to?!_

He spent his whole day at Paulo’s house. It was a great relief that Paulo doesn’t even care if he’s a performer. If Paulo didn’t stop him from leaving earlier, he probably would have bailed his eyes out. Pulling his hair out of irritation and regret.

Paulo would praise him when they talk about his performances that he had watched. And he would even sometimes teach and give Stell advices to improve. The idle fuel inside of him is starting to burn, giving him energy and desire to sing on stage again. Recalling his shows and performances with Paulo felt nostalgic and he somehow yearns for it. It was his ultimate dream. He will eventually come back no matter what.

At late night, Paulo insisted to walk him home. “There is no need. Wala pang sampung metro ang pagitan ng bahay natin, Pau!” Stell laughed as he walked down the veranda.

“Gusto ko, eh! Bakit ba?” There really is no chance on stopping him, eh? Stell just shook his head and started walking.

The wind suddenly blew to them and Stell felt the chill. He was rubbing his hand on his arm when Paulo took it. His walks become at a snail's pace as their hands intertwined. “Warmer, isn’t it?” _It is._

No doubt, it took them just a few minutes to reach Stell’s house. They were already in front of the door and no one was breaking the hold. “Why do I want to be with you every second?” Paulo asked.

“Greedy.” Stell grinned.

“I know.”

Paulo’s eyes gradually looked to his lips and Stell couldn’t help to sensually lick it. Their faces are leaning in closer until Paulo suddenly stopped to smirk. Stell’s eyes were already half-closed, lips parted and he could feel his irritation when Paulo stopped, his anticipation being impeded. “Why’d you stop?” He silently asked while faces still inches close.

Paulo moved his face to Stell’s ear. “Can’t wait to be your boyfriend so I can kiss you.” He whispered and quickly gave Stell a peck on his cheek.

It was so sudden and Paulo is already out of his veranda. He is grinning widely as to Stell’s red and stunned face. “I can’t believe you just did that!” Disappointment might be etched all over his face.

Paulo laughed and started to walk backwards. “Good night, Stellvester! I hope you dream of me.”

“Don’t say my name out loud, John Paulo!” He said gritting his teeth.

“Tayo lang naman nandito. No one will hear it!”

“Nevermind! Look where you’re heading to, baka madapa ka!”

“Ayaw ko, still want to look at you.”

The moon is definitely above them in the dark night and Paulo’s still being frisky. Stell can’t help it and smiled. “Edi, dito lang din ako till you’re at your door.”

Stell is now on his bed, still having the smile plastered on his face. It was a great day, grateful that Paulo understands him and didn’t get mad at Stell’s accusations. This was the first time they or _he_ , had a misunderstanding and good thing they had settled it soon. Paulo’s always been good to him. And he hopes for more great days to come. He was about to sleep when his phone’s screen lightened up. A notification came.

_From Josh:_

_It’s been more than a day, still no reply. Are you okay?_

Oh. He just remembered it now. Andrei showing up to them, and the police founding a lead. _What just happened?_

Stell became nervous but he is determined to face it all once his vacation is over. This place gives him courage. _Someone_ from here is giving him that courage. Collecting it all might help him once he gets back.

_To Josh:_

_I’m fine. I’ll be back in two months. Just give me the details if there’s something more significant happened. I also have something to tell you when I come back. Thank you, Josh._

With a single bar of reception, he sent it. _I’m not running away again, I’m still just gaining the strength to face it._ He repeated until he dozes off.

“Marami kayong huli kanina?” Stell asked.

Two weeks have already passed and both of them gotten closer and more intimate. It’s either they spend the day at Stell or Paulo’s house, or just stroll by the beach. They talked more about themselves and always learn more things from each other. People have noticed their sudden attachment and would tease them from time to time.

Justin and Josh even noticed something different in Stell’s tone whenever they got the chance to call. They said it was livelier and more likely _himself_. Interrogations happened on what Stell was doing lately, but he kept mum about his _relationship_ with Paulo. They would probably insist on talking to Paulo. Might even nag at him or disclose embarrassing moments of his life.

It was late in the afternoon, Stell is sitting on their favorite hammock, plaiting Paulo’s hair who’s in between his legs, sitting on the sand.

“Uh-huh. Gusto mo sumama sa’min next time?” Paulo was about to look up to him but he held it back to front the sea.

“’Wag kang magulo, Pau. Matatapos na ‘to.” With the last twist of Paulo’s hair, he tied it with the hair elastic. “Hindi ba ako makakagulo sa inyo?”

Paulo shakes his head while standing up. He sat next to Stell and started to swing the hammock with his foot. “Hindi, sa bangka ko naman ikaw sasakay.”

Stell nodded, something popped up his mind. It was a question that Stell had been thinking lately. “How much do you gain from fishing?”

Is it greater than theater performing that’s why he stopped? Well, Paulo’s not in for the money. He must surely love what he is doing right now.

“Bakit? Tatanungin mo na ba ako kung kaya kong sustentuhan future natin?” Paulo chuckled, encircling his arm on Stell’s waist. He let him. Paulo had always been doing that gesture especially when they are alone. And instinctively, Stell would lean to him, but the question made him face Paulo.

“What? Seryosong tanong kasi, Paulo.” He glared at him.

“Seryoso rin naman tanong ko ah.” Stell squeezed Paulo’s thigh, the man still had that teasing smile on.

“I mean, ang dami mong libro, vinyl, and albums sa bahay mo. You also have different acoustic and classical guitars. You’re earning big, aren’t you?”

They both been keeping something from each other. It’s obvious. But Stell’s blabbering mouth can’t help but ask. He surely would respect if Paulo won’t say something about it. There is a time for that.

“Remember when I told you na suma-sideline ako? That’s where I get my money.” Paulo whispered in Stell’s ear while grinning.

Stell quickly turned to Paulo, eyeing him suspiciously. “Make sure that’s not something bad.” He said, frowning at Paulo.

“Syempre naman! I’ll tell it to you soon.” There’s something about Paulo’s smile. And he seemed excited about it. _What would it be?_

Stell shifted his position. Laying his head down on Paulo’s thigh and facing the sea. It was quite difficult to move since they were in a hammock but Paulo helped him feel comfortable. He heard Paulo humming the same tune everytime they were in a comfortable silence.

Watching the sky turn dark as they swing gently. Stell sighed. The day is almost ending. His stay also will, soon. Maybe that was subconsciously hindering him to label their relationship. How would they continue their communication with a bad reception in the island? What if this is just a bliss in the summer time? When will he come back here?

Once he goes back to the city, there will be so many things to fix and organize. It won’t be too soon to meet Paulo here once again. And it would be selfish to ask Paulo to come with him to the city. Stell knows he cannot escape this situation. His feelings for Paulo are already a sturdy root, it constantly grows deeper and deeper.

How could a month with Paulo make him feel so rooted?

“Anong iniisip mo?” Paulo asked, looming over his face.

“Maghanap ka ng maayos na signal dito pag-alis ko, ah.” Stell said faking his smile. Thankful that his voice didn’t croak.

It definitely hurt saying that. Paulo seemed to notice his expression when he creased his forehead.

“Oo naman. We still have less than two months, right?” Paulo said, caressing Stell’s cheeks. His hand was rough but comforting. He will surely miss these type of moments with Paulo.

“Mahihirapan ba tayo?” _Isn’t it obvious, Stell? Why’d still ask?_

Paulo stopped. He seemed to be thinking for a minute when he touched Stell’s hair and brushed it with his hands. “Mahirap, panigurado. Magiging busy ka na, mahirap pa ang reception dito.” He said while nodding his head as if stating facts. Which are really facts.

“Sunod na lang ba ako sa’yo?”

Stell abruptly sat up, rattling the hammock. “No!”

Paulo seemed confused with his strong rejection. “Ayaw mo?”

“You have a life here, Paulo. I know how you value this.” Stell said gesturing his hands to show the sea. “I don’t want you to leave this just because of me.”

“But I value you too. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle a choppy call or a buffering video call with you.”

That made him flushed. Paulo is willing to go with him. The thought of it made him feel ecstatic. That will be a really big step for their relationship. And he also wanted to do the same. So, without hesitation, he grabbed Paulo’s shirt to him and leaned in to plant his lips on his.

Paulo must be shocked, why he was stoned in his place. Stell gently bit Paulo’s lower lip that made him collect himself and return the kiss. Paulo reached for his nape and pulled it closer to him as if they weren’t even too close to each other, deepening the kiss further. And Stell was crumpling Paulo’s shirt tightly, feeling the warm, passionate kisses they share.

“Ay, gago—”

They heard someone cursed behind them so they stopped immediately. Stell turned to the person and it was Ken running away from them. He profusely blushed and looked at Paulo. His glossy lips are still parted and eyes looking heavy while staring at him. He noticed that he was still gripping Paulo’s shirt which made him keep his hands to himself.

“Uhm… nakita tayo ni Ken.” Stell said bashfully, looking away from Paulo and fronting the sea.

Paulo’s lips were so soft! His heart was still beating fast and he can’t control himself from licking his lips. He never felt something intense like this before, even in his past relationships. Well, he wouldn’t really call it relationships as those were random hook-ups. But this feeling with Paulo is extremely different, and it just felt so good and so genuine, the strong attraction and the desire to cast himself to the man. Stell almost flinched when Paulo rested his forehead on his shoulder.

“You kissed me,” Stell knew Paulo is smiling when he said that.

“Obviously.”

“That just means, boyfriend na kita.” _Well, yeah! You wouldn’t kiss me if we aren’t so I took the move!_

Stell wouldn’t say it, of course. So, he just slowly nodded.

“I knew this would happen.” Paulo laughed while shaking his head.

“Of course, I like you! Stop laughing!” He was beginning to intensely feel shy because of Paulo’s amusement.

“Hindi! I was talking about the kiss.” Paulo smirked. _Can he stop doing that? Because he looks so hot, damn!_

“What?”

“I knew I would crave for it once I get to feel your kiss.”

With that being said, Paulo leaned to his face and gave him sweet and light pecks on his lips. Before they can even go back to the passionate kiss they shared earlier, Paulo pulled himself away from Stell. And Stell almost followed Paulo’s lips!

They were both smiling widely, feeling their hearts beat at the same pace. Paulo hugged him by the waist and let his face stay on Stell’s neck. Few minutes have passed staying that way until Paulo spoke.

“Punta na lang tayo kanila Ken. Nagluto raw kasi siya ng tinola, ipapatikim sa’tin.” Paulo said, comfortable in his position.

“You still have the guts to face him? Nakita niya tayo, huy! Nakakahiya!”

“Asus, parang hindi mo naman na ka-close si Ken. Tara!” Paulo laughed and hopped out of the hammock. He held Stell’s hand and pulled him to stand up.

They had dinner at Ken’s house. The _tinola_ was great but Ken’s interrogation almost stressed him out. A couple questions of how, when, and what’s their relationship have been asked. Paulo nearly got annoyed with Ken’s curiosity, saying that he knows some of them. Stell was surprised to learn that Paulo’s been telling things between them to Ken and the latter even blurted out that Paulo was always asking for advices in pursuing him.

The three of them drank that night. With all of the stories they shared, they didn’t notice that they already finished a few bottles of local brandy. Stell doesn’t drink much of distilled liquor since he has low alcohol tolerance. And now, Paulo is carrying Stell on his back, drunk and sleepy.

“Una na kami, Ken. Lasing na ‘to.” Ken nodded as they both laughed.

With a dizzy head, Stell still hears what the two of them is talking about. “Sinong lasing?” He asked as he shot his head up, resting his chin on Paulo’s shoulder.

“Si Ken, lasing na, kaya uuwi na tayo.” Paulo answered still laughing softly.

“Mahina ka pala, Ken, tsk!”

Ken went inside his house laughing at what he said and Paulo started walking back to their homes. Stell was beginning to talk a lot, telling stories to Paulo which the man will answer with a chuckle or a ‘what’ or ‘really’.

He sprang up, holding both of his hands on Paulo’s shoulder. Paulo almost tripped with Stell’s sudden movement. “”Wag kang malikot, Tey, baka bigla kitang mabitawan.” Stell felt Paulo tightening his grip on the back of his knees.

He didn’t mind what Paulo just said and pointed his finger to the sea. “That’s where I first saw you!” He exclaimed. Remembering the dawn on his first day.

“Your lanterns sparkled looking like a reflection of the stars. Then suddenly, I just saw you pulling a basin full of fish!” Stell slumped back on Paulo making the man groan. He gently stroked Paulo’s arms then he squeezed it.

“What—” Paulo gasped. “Tey, what are you doing?”

“I’m feeling your arms, dude! They seemed to be strong, like… how can you pull that heavy basin and you’re even carrying me right now!” Stell didn’t stop fondling Paulo’s arms, making him hear a deep sigh from the man.

He then brushed Paulo’s long hair. “You really caught my eyes, you know? How can a man be so dashing with a long hair? Paulo even got a cute dimple!”

Stell was really attracted from the first sight of him. He just set it aside of his brain to focus on what he is resolving of himself. But Paulo was always with him and it’s a no escape.

“I do?”

“Yes, you do!” Stell hugged him from the back and leaned his face on Paulo’s ear.

“I really liked it when you smiled at me.” He whispered and he felt Paulo slightly shiver. _Is it cold? I feel so warm though._

“And you’re smile was the brightest I’ve seen.” Paulo countered.

“Weh? Talaga ba?”

“Uh-huh, you bring me warmth every time. Kaya gustong-gusto kitang napapasaya.”

Stell buried his face on Paulo’s neck and he smells so good. He kissed it and Paulo almost made him fall. “Stop making it difficult for me, Tey. Please? We’re almost at your house.”

“What? Mabigat ba ako? Maglalakad na lang ako.”

“No,” Paulo strengthened his hold. “Basta don’t make any unnecessary movements.”

“Okay!” Stell said obediently.

Stell was beginning to close his eyes when Paulo asked him his keys. “On my pocket.” He answered sleepily, still comfortably resting his head on Paulo’s back.

He just felt Paulo sat him on his veranda’s railing and turning towards him. Stell felt so weak and sleepy, and Paulo held his head to lean on his shoulder while searching his pockets for the key. “Lasing na lasing, hay naku.”

Paulo guided him to get down the railing while holding his waist. He successfully opened the door and dragged Stell into his room. Even before he can lay the drunk man on the bed, Stell circled his arms on Paulo’s nape.

The curtain in his balcony’s door is open and the room was luminated by the moon outside. Stell stared at Paulo’s eyes. It was affectionate and it feels like he was being pulled by those almond eyes. His eyes were slightly blurry but he can see how pretty Paulo is. “You are making me fall, deep and rooted.” He said as he plunged his lips on Paulo.

Paulo accepted it, hands on Stell’s waist. Kissing him gently at first until Stell started to deepen the kiss. It was starting to get hot and Stell moved his hips grinding it to Paulo’s front. The man groaned making his tongue enter and search his mouth. Paulo is already hard making him move his hips slowly and sensually, feeling it until his own was also as hard.

Paulo gripped his waist strongly, stopping him from moving and leaving his lips to trail kisses on his jaw. Stell whimpered with the absence of Paulo’s lips but the kisses felt so good, sucking and licking his skin making him moan a little. “Let’s stop, you need to sleep.” Paulo whispered lovingly in his ear.

“Whaaat? But I want you, Pauuu…” Stell whined and suddenly he was already being lifted and laid on the bed. The soft mattress made him forget the throb between his thighs and sleep begin to drown him.

“You are such a tease, damn.” Stell still heard Paulo’s groan and felt a soft kiss on his forehead before sleep succumbs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry... please understand this is my first time writing, still learning to write mature scenes T.T but thank you for patiently waiting for my slow updates hehe love love <3


	9. Sunrise

Stell groaned as he felt the pulsating ache of his head as soon as he woke up. He massaged his temples harshly and crumpled his body on the bed. The ringing of his phone worsens his discomfort so he grumpily picked it up to stop the loud noise.

Without knowing the caller, he answered it, “H-hello?” his voice croaked, feeling the dryness of his throat.

 _“It’s past eleven in the morning and you just woke up?”_ It was Justin.

 _“That’s the voice we always hear whenever he drank till his kidneys fail.”_ He also heard the faint voice of Josh in the background.

“Fuck!” Stell exclaimed, abruptly sitting up on his bed. Making him dizzy and feeling how terrible his headache is.

He just remembered what happened last night. All the chatters and the naughty act he did while on Paulo’s back made him feel so embarrassed. And most importantly, the grinding he did last night! Stell’s face heated and muttered all the curse words he knows.

 _“Hoy, ano ba! Bakit ka ba mura ng mura dyan?”_ Justin said while laughing, he probably knew already that Stell did something humiliating.

“I just dry-humped my boyfriend last night!” Stell said and dived back to the bed, lying down on his stomach and burying his face on the pillow.

_“What did you just say?” Oh. Lagot._

He didn’t mention his relationship with Paulo to his two friends. He just tells them that he made a friend who always accompanies him here. It’s not that he is ashamed of Paulo, and heck, he would never be, it’s just that Justin and Josh tend to be overreacting and overprotective when it comes to his relationships.

 _“YOU GOT YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND?”_ Stell can feel the surprise and annoyance in Justin’s voice. He can’t blame him though, he hid it from them.

“Jah, putol-putol ka. Try calling some other time.” He bluffed, wanting to get out of the conversation.

_“I don’t think so, Stellvester Ajero. Tinatakasan mo lang ako. Josh, oh!”_

_“Kailangan naming makilala yan, Stell, ah!”_

His friends are making his headache worse, he just wants to go back to sleep. Explaining to them in a phone call with his condition right now would be difficult so he just confirmed that he has a boyfriend, and it was just yesterday.

“Tey? Gising ka na ba?” _Wait…_ It’s Paulo!!!

Blood almost left his face in an instant and just hearing his voice made his heart race. Stell wondered why Paulo’s in his house this early morning. His caller probably even heard him!

 _“Siya ba yan, Stell?”_ Justin said in his ever-curious tone.

 _“What is he doing there? I thought you just woke up? You gave him your keys? Or… he slept there?”_ Josh’s voice slowly became perceptible, probably went near the phone to hear clearly what’s going on here.

“You know what? Lalong sumasakit ulo ko sa mga tanong niyo. Oo siya ‘yan, mamaya na kayo tumawag!” He paused, thinking that the two will possibly bother him with so many calls or spam him with repeating messages. “Or better yet, ako na lang tatawag. Bye!”

Stell hurriedly dropped the call and went fast to the door of his room. He almost fell down out of light-headedness with his sudden movements. Breathing calmly, he slightly opened the door but didn’t look at the man behind it. Embarrassment still raining his whole being.

Paulo peeked his head through the small opening of the door and smiled widely as soon as he saw Stell standing behind. The man pushed the door and Stell didn’t had the chance to stop him from entering his room. He also noticed that Paulo brought a glass of water with him.

“Hindi ba masakit ulo mo? I heard you talking earlier.” Paulo reached for his hand and led him back to the bed. He let Stell sat on the soft mattress and made him drink the water.

Stell finished the glass and immediately felt the replenishing of his throat. He wanted more of it to relieve the dehydration he’s feeling. Paulo brushed his untidy locks with his fingers and felt a soothing massage on his scalp while doing so.

“My friends called.”

Paulo hummed in response and continued what he was doing. Stell wondered what was Paulo thinking. What happened last night was an act of sudden lust. Feeling their bodies so close and warm together just made it easier to heat up. The strong attraction for the man is continuously getting stronger that it didn't help him to stop what he was doing. It was not something Stell could courageously do when clearheaded—and thinking that it could be their first. He then felt his neck heating up to his ears.

"Iniisip mo ba ginawa mo kagabi?" Paulo asked with a stifled laugh.

Stell could have choked in his water if he weren't finished drinking it. Paulo can be blunt occasionally. And he preferred to be direct with this topic right now. He placed the glass down and covered his face with his hands.

"Arghh... I'm sorry, Pau." Stell moved away from Paulo and again buried his head on a pillow.

He heard Paulo laughing even behind the cover in his ears. "You should be, grabe pagpapahirap mo sa'kin kagabi."

The bed sank behind him and he felt Paulo caress his back. He almost jumped when he felt Paulo's hot breath on his ear. "Next time, remain sober."

"Paulo!!! You are making me feel more embarrassed!" Stell shot him a glare and went back on burying his face. If the bed could only swallow him whole, he is damn willing to be eaten up just to get out of this humiliation.

"Okay..." Paulo amusingly ceded, "Tara na sa baba, nagluto ako ng nilaga. You can drink the soup to ease your hangover."

Stell felt a soft kiss on his hair and hands removing his clutch on the pillow. He peeked at Paulo and the man definitely looked happy with his smile on. He looks at Stell with much fondness and adoration as if he’s the best thing the world could ever have—at least, that’s what he felt with Paulo’s gaze.

Just a stare from Paulo’s hazel brown eyes made him feel totally cherished. For the dispirited years he had experienced, this seemed to be what he was lacking for. Love. The act of loving. He removed the thought of being in love as it brought too much pain in his life. He blocked all possible welcoming in his life when it comes to feeling this emotion.

Eluded to a place where he can’t feel it. Away from attachments to every person. Making him find his place in the middle of a calm sea where no one can find him.

He was the one who made himself feel alone and listless. He blamed himself, his problems, and some people who gave struggles in his life—when in fact, every human being has different troubles which they overcome. And he should too… be accepting and forgiving.

Afloat in the distant still sea, he would have a difficulty on coming to this realization. He doesn’t know if he should be mad at himself for not realizing it on his own or be glad that he felt a sudden movement of the water’s surface that he stays on. But as what he thought, he should be accepting and forgiving—firstly to himself.

But he already did accept… someone. The sudden wave of the sea was from the boat Paulo was on. The fisherman’s hook is shining brightly as it was casted to his place. It was his light and guide to go back ashore. Out from the cold water wrinkling his skin. To feel the grainy sand on his feet, to feel the warmth of the sun.

All of these thoughts and apprehensions come running to his mind with just a stare. Paulo’s gaze. That’s how his eyes can bring so much emotion to Stell.

“H-hey, bakit ka umiiyak?”

It was now concern that is flashed in Paulo’s eyes as he gently lifts Stell up to hug him. He didn’t even feel the tears coming out of his eyes.

_I’ll gladly accept it all. All your emotions. And I’ll willingly do everything to give back to you the happiness you’ve been giving me._

Is this love? _Am I already in love with him?_

“I-I… ang saya-saya ko, Pau.” He told him as he wrapped his arms around Paulo ever so tightly.

* * *

Stell ran fast on the sand to catch the sunset. They’re back in the solitary hut in the covert cove.

This was unplanned. After spending their morning and early afternoon sleeping because of Stell’s hangover, he suddenly felt so active and wanted to do something. So, he asked Paulo if they could come here again.

Paulo seemed to be thinking something before he agreed and Stell didn't bother asking him what's in his thoughts because he's too excited to come back here. He giddily packed foods to eat and some pillows and blankets since they would be staying here tonight. He even almost kicked Paulo for not helping and the man just laughed at him.

Stell quickly placed the things he brought down the hut and went to front the sea. Right moment as the sun touches the sea and Paulo hugging him from the back.

"Do you like sunsets more?" Paulo asked him, resting his chin on Stell's shoulder.

"I like sunsets," he answered as he looked at the horizon where the large orange sun is slowly hiding. Slowly ending the day.

There’s a reason why Stell wanted to go here. The perfect view of the sunset… and the fireworks display. Sunsets are described to be a beautiful ending. And he sought to end that pain that the fireworks reminded him. Even if he’s not sure if there is a display tonight, he still meant to go.

“Will there be fireworks display tonight?”

“I don’t know, let’s see.”

He knows Paulo can sense something different in him today. Starting from that happy crying in the morning. Realizations just hit him. He is very thankful for Paulo making him feel this wonderful feeling again. And he wanted to give him back this feeling of delight.

But it would be unfair to Paulo if he still has this agonizing conundrum running in his life. The one that kept him in the sea for so long. He wanted to end this soon but since he’s here, he knows this will still take long.

For now, the big steps are acceptance and forgiveness… to himself. He deprived himself of that, blaming his own till he’s so sure that those two things worthy for him to receive. That being incomplete is the best suit for him.

Paulo… he doesn’t deserve someone incomplete. He is one to give parts of himself to others, and if he does it for Stell, he will also lose part of him. Stell doesn’t want that. He wants to be whole for him.

They silently watched the sun as it slowly hides behind the vast sea, leaving orange and red tint at the low, and purple and blue in the high sky. Beautiful and silent, but not lonely. He knows the sun will rise again. Every day ends, but there will always be a new start. A new hope. Sunrise.

“Anong iniisip mo?”

“I like sunsets,” he repeated what he said earlier to Paulo’s question, “but I’m in love with the sunrise.”

_You are my sunrise, Paulo._

Stell turned to him and gave Paulo a quick peck on his lips. He smiled widely when he saw Paulo’s closed eyes. Is it weird to feel something tickling inside you? Because that’s how Stell feels as he looks at Paulo anticipating more of his kisses. And with that, he escaped from Paulo’s embrace and teased him more.

“Gusto mo pa?” Stell asked, laughing at Paulo’s grumpy face.

“Humanda ka sa’kin mamaya.” Paulo licked his lips and smirked at him then went back to the hut.

Stell felt his cheeks burning and his heart racing. Other than him looking hot with that smirking and lip licking, he doesn’t want to think of something else from Paulo’s smirk… but it looks like he’s suggesting something!

“B-bakit? Anong gagawin mo ha, Pau?” Stell followed him trying to sound tough in asking him, but he can’t help but stammer.

“Gusto mong malaman?” Paulo turned to him and swiftly grabbed his waist closing the gap between them.

Stell swallowed hard as he guessed where this is going. He doesn’t know if Paulo’s being serious or not but he presumes this is about what he did last night! He wanted to get out of Paulo’s hold since he knows his face is beet red and… he can feel his own painfully throbbing down there. And Paulo is even too close to him that he’s so sure he can feel it too!

“I guess you know.” Stell was seriously dumbfounded when Paulo just left him there standing. The man is laughing hard as he reached the hut and Stell wanted to bury himself in the sand.

“Paulo!!! I cannot believe you!”

“Quits lang! Pinahirapan mo rin ako kagabi.”

Now, how is he supposed to hide this freaking dent in his shorts?

“Tara na rito, tulungan mo akong ihawin ‘tong ni-relleno mo.” Paulo looked at him amusingly as he stands there not moving.

“Pasalamat ka… gusto kita!” He shouted as he walked towards Paulo. And he’s not ready to say it out loud.

Paulo raised an eyebrow at him and his smile going wide. “Gusto kitang sakalin!” He gritted his teeth and strangled Paulo’s nape.

Paulo’s shoulder went up and laughed since it was tickling him. His laugh was contagious, making Stell giggle and instead he tickled him more. “A-ang wild mo naman!” Paulo blurted while laughing and evading Stell’s hold.

Stell gasped and stopped what he was doing. “Oh, shut up Paulo!” He’s becoming more and more embarrassed and Paulo seems to be enjoying this. “Gusto mo talagang inaasar ako ah!”

“Gusto rin kita.”

_I think my heart just exploded._

He gave Stell his charmingly bright smile that makes his eyes crinkle. Nothing can ever make Stell angry with this man. With that simple act making his heart melt, how can he be mad? Paulo went near him to enclose him in his arms, he puts Stell’s arms around his neck and then he started swaying their bodies. It was like they are slow-dancing, but there’s no music around them. No, there is music. It’s their synchronized beating hearts.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“N-no, hindi naman ako galit.”

Paulo nodded and whispered in his ear. “I just wanted to lift your mood.”

“Huh?”

“Hindi ko alam kung anong nasa isip mo ngayon. But I feel like I need to cheer you up. Kinabahan talaga ako ‘nong umiyak ka kaninang umaga, but you said you are happy. At masaya rin ako na masaya ka. Ang sigla mo na nga kanina bago tayo magpunta rito. Pero when we came here, you were just silently watching the sun.”

Paulo’s looking intently in his eyes. It was like he’s digging deep into Stell’s eyes to know what he is thinking. To know what’s been bothering him.

“Your eyes weren’t sad, though. There was a glint of hope in it as the sun goes down. And whatever it is you were leaving behind with the sun, I hope it makes you happy. But I also want to make you happy, kaso naaasar ka na ata.” Paulo chuckled while Stell smiled and shook his head.

“I’m always happy with everything you are doing for me. Kahit mukha tayong baliw dito na sumasayaw kahit walang tugtog.” He let out a heartily laugh.

Nothing can ever make him angry at Paulo. Stell repeated in his mind. Paulo’s just so pure and genuine with what he is doing for him. How can he get mad with that? The universe must have conspired to make him feel whipped with this man.

“Kakantahan na lang kita,” Paulo grinned cutely but what he’s singing is completely opposite of what he’s face is showing.

_“You make it look like it’s magic, cause I see nobody, nobody but you…”_

Stell takes back what he said earlier. Paulo ain’t pure! They both know that it’s a sexy song and now he’s giving Stell that suggestive smirk. He cannot stand this. With all these sensual teasing from Paulo, he doesn’t know what he can do.

“N-nagugutom na ako, Pau. Ihawin na natin ‘yung bangus.” Gotta find a way to avoid this steamy atmosphere between them. He quickly moved away and fiddled on their things.

Eventually, Paulo stopped with the teasing and just went on in being sweet with Stell. This man definitely gives him too much in his heart and mind. One moment he's being this hot damn man and another he's like a cotton candy fluffing around Stell.

He can be that cool man and then he can be a cute man. Like right now as Paulo lays his head on Stell's thighs. They have finished eating and just idling by the hut. Paulo kept on purring like a cat as Stell brushes his long hair with his fingers. It was too cute to see!

Stell was enjoying that moment with Paulo until he heard the loud pops of the fireworks. There is a display today. How lucky of him.

He saw Paulo opened his eyes and slowly sat up beside him. Stell said to him previously that loud noises make him feel giddy, Paulo must be concerned.

And he is. It was visible in his eyes. Paulo opened his arms and pulled him closer to sit between his legs. The man wrapped his arms around Stell and placed his head on his shoulder. Feels so warm and safe.

"Are you scared?"

"No. You're here."

It is true. Before, every loud pop makes him jump from his seat. But with these strong arms encircling him, Stell feels secured.

This is what he's here for. To see if he still feels that same tremor. But there is none.

Is he finally free from that nightmare? That one night of his misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit short and it took me long to write this... thank you to those who are is still reading even if I update once a month hehe alabyu ol <3 (my heart can't even keep up with all the stelljun happenings last night lol I love them so much T.T)


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